“loredana, esq.” recap: episode 2 (naked and afraid)
By Geoff Blain
This week’s episode is bedrock Loredana: Ferocious. Fangs out. Focused. And on fire!
Up first is Mike Mingolello. Mike is an old family friend of LD. Everyone calls him “Chunk.” (Don’t ask me. I don’t know why.) Late one night, LD gets a call from her brother Robert saying that Chunk has been arrested. (Rob says he doesn’t know what the charges are when he calls.) He needs our help. This is a first for Chunk. No prior arrests. Completely out of character. Anyway, LD and Robert bail Chunk out, and as they are walking away from the police station, Chunk gives his side of the story: Late last night, just off work, he stops by an ATM to get some cash. He then gets so spooked when he is approached by three guys that he pulls out his concealed firearm and chases the guys off. Well, the three guys decide to call the cops and when the cops arrive, Chunk gets spooked again and takes off. A police chase ensues and somehow a police officer is assaulted and a police dog is bitten! (He bit a canine with his canines!)
LD gives the lowdown to me and Booker and we start gathering as much evidence as we can to make sense of this crazy story.
Next up we have Gypsy Taub. Gypsy and her fiancé, James, are nudists living in San Francisco who want to get married on the courthouse steps. Naked. This is a problem as the city has recently passed a revised nudity ban that prohibits anyone from displaying their genitalia or perineum – who knew that part of the body had a name? – in public unless it is during a licensed festival or parade. This is, after all, San Francisco. To further complicate matters, Gypsy has been arrested numerous times previously for violating the ban. One more public display will land her in jail for a year.
In the midst of all of this professional crazy, LD’s dad (affectionately known as Pa) comes to visit from Connecticut. The timing is great as LD and Robert have been arguing about how much discipline is too much with regard to Rocco. LD is a pretty strict disciplinarian while Robert is pretty laid-back about the whole thing. Pa is able to give some much-needed insight into parenting, and, in a touching scene, he apologizes to LD for being so tough on her and her brothers.
Meanwhile, Booker finds out that the three men accusing Chunk only have one prior between them, but now they are claiming there was a baby in the car making the case against Chunk even worse. The police video doesn’t help his case either. LD convinces Chunk to donate all of his firearms to the police and enrolls him in the Accelerated Rehabilitation Program to make him seem remorseful. With the donation, the rehab program and a good look at our Guilty / Not Guilty board, it looks like LD has a shot at keeping Chunk out of jail. Chunk has his day in court, and, after much deliberation, the judge sentences Chunk to 200 hours of community service and two years probation.
Okay. Now back to our friends in San Fran. I fly up to try to get a parade permit which would allow Gypsy’s nude wedding, but the permit is denied. I go to the wedding. Gypsy, James, the minister and assorted guests take their clothes off. The police roll up and give Gypsy five minutes to clothe herself or be arrested. She doesn’t, is handcuffed and placed in a squad car. However, we were able to negotiate with the police and they end up releasing Gypsy with just a warning if she covers up. Gypsy complies and is set free. The police have upheld the law. Gypsy has made her point. No one loses face. All is right with the world. I’ve worked with many cops and there are a lot of great men and women on the force, but I was truly impressed with the way the SFPD conducted itself. True professionals – respectful and courteous.