Sundance Films Top 10 Infidelities

To count down to the Sundance Film Festival, we’ve been blogging about some of our favorite movie moments in the festival’s history. We’ve covered the Top 10 Lessons in LoveTop 10 Lessons in Young LoveTop 10 Oddest Couples, and Top 10 Sexy-FAIL Moments.  This week is the final installment, and we saved the worst for last — infidelity, so bad for marriages, but so good for movie-makers. As Tolstoy sort of said, all happy marriages resemble one another, but each unhappy marriage is unhappy in its own way. Have a nice day!

  1. PERSONAL VELOCITY: THREE PORTRAITS: This movie is soaked through with infidelity, in particular the knock-on effect that infidelity (and its close cousins, abandonment and divorce) has on the kids. Philip Larkin put it best: “They fuck you up, your mum and dad. / They may not mean to, but they do. / They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you.”
  2. THE INFORMERS: Based on Bret Easton Ellis’s story collection (’nuff said, perhaps?), this film’s speciality is early ’80s L.A. infidelity. In other words, the sex is fueled by booze and drugs and is even emptier than your average illicit shag.
  3. BLOOD SIMPLE: It’s all downhill once you hire a shady private detective to gather evidence of your spouse’s affair. And we’d like to state for the record that double murder only seems like a good way to get revenge.
  4. FRIENDS WITH MONEY: Money can’t buy you love and it can’t buy you fidelity either — just ask these ladies who lunch. Of course, perimenopause, ambiguous sexuality, and poor communication skills don’t help either.
  5. PUCCINI FOR BEGINNERS: It may sound far-fetched, but are you absolutely sure that the two people you’re currently two-timing don’t know each other? And are you sure they didn’t used to sleep with each other? Good. Just checking.
  6. ADVENTURELAND: 35-year-old married men who seduce teenagers will never admit this, even to themselves, but it’s actually really easy for a 35-year-old married loser douche bag to seduce a teenager who’s way out of his league.
  7. AMERICAN TEEN: Cheating is dumb, but cheating when you have a documentary film crew following you around? Super-dumb. Also, there should be a rule that cheating is double the sin if you do it Gossip Girl-style by breaking into a pool at night.
  8. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME: Apparently some women just go weak at the knees when their married bank manager boss — whose wife just happens to be six months pregnant — gets all persnickety about time sheets and computer color schemes.
  9. SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE: If your marriage is on the rocks, never invite your “bohemian” friend to crash on your couch — and definitely don’t trust your “free spirit” sister either…
  10. THE BROTHERS MCMULLEN: If you’re cheating on your wife and you leave a condom in your pants pocket even though your wife does all your laundry, are you a complete idiot or do you secretly want to get caught?