There always comes a time in an interviewer’s piece when she realizes, “Dangit – that was good. But It just doesn’t fit…” And with the Push Girls there’s always more good stuff. So we decided to give you a bonus chapter if you will – full of fun facts and random answers to questions that may or may not have even been (verbally) asked.
The Push Girls’ Guide To Getting Your Groove On
Let’s not muck around, shall we? No one wants a little Lord Fauntleroy in the sack, gingerly prancing about. Remember, just because a Push Girl can’t walk doesn’t mean she’s a flimsy little flower.
“Most guys who are with us for the first time don’t want to ‘break’ us again, so they’re really delicate,” says Auti, rolling her eyes. “They think we’re fragile – so we have to be like, ‘No, dude – watch what I can do,’ and then they’re like, ‘Oh, okay. I got it from here.’”
Oh, my little duckies, I promised you we’d get to the good part, didn’t I? Let’s dim the lights, grab a glass of wine, light some candles, put on the Walrus of Love (Barry White, for the uninitiated) and start your engines, because our Push Girls are about to knock your (black) socks off. But before we can get down and dirty, let’s start slow, shall we?
So you got the girl – good going! Seriously, it’s not easy to land a relationship with a Push Girl so lean back, enjoy the rarified air and congratulate yourself… oh, wait. What are you doing? No. Nonono… don’t do that. Don’t you know this by now? Those crazy personal peccadillos, those things your mother told you were so cute, so adorable… Well, frankly my friend, to many of us (not just Push Girls), they are dealbreakers.
So, you charmed your way in, and now you got a date with your dream Push Girl. Good for you, Stan! And don’t worry, we’re going to help you out here too by guiding you into what to do and more importantly what not to do. But this time, instead of telling you, we’ll just show you as, well, who doesn’t love a good dating story?
So you made it past the gate and got yourself a date – good for you! Now, to quote my spirit animal RuPaul: Don’t Fuck It Up!
The Push Girl Rules
No, we’re not talking about that silly book which told women everywhere how to act like a lobotomized, manipulative ninny in order to score a husband. We’re talking about the Push Girls Rules, which will teach you how to score a fun, fabulous dude without putting up with any crap!
Don’t get freaked out by the title of this chapter – it’s not everyday that Christina Aguilera and a pre-wigged out Amanda Bynes can be referenced at the same time! But seriously, with the exception of Auti, who is married to the perfectly be-dimpled Eric, our girls are all looking for that special someone who will knock their wheels off.
And you don’t have to be a Calvin Klein model to catch their eye. Grab your chemistry set, put some Aretha Franklin on and have some R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
A Push Girl is in demand everywhere, be it in the club, at a bar, during a pool party, at work, at a dinner, or in the aisles of the grocery store – but they do like to go out at night with an eye for the hotties. But when a Push Girl rolls in, you need to be ready because, trust me, there’s always a line to get an audience with our girls. They’re in control – and if you can’t give her what she needs, she can always get it herself…
Unlike some of you out there (you know who you are), Push Girls aren’t sitting around on a Saturday night in their jammies cramming their mouth full of Mallo-Mars and drunkenly crooning Barry Manilow tunes to their cats while applying zit masks to their faces (those apartment walls are real thin girl, real thin). Instead, our heroines are more likely to be found rolling around a local hotspot in heels, a pencil skirt and sizzle-me-till-Sunday lipstick with a trail of drooling suitors in their wake.
“How do they do it?” you ask, lowering your voice so no one can hear you. “I mean, for Chrissake – they’re in a wheelchair! Okay, so their wheels are custom hot, but… what the hell? Can they even feel it down there?”
Oh, you silly girl. Can they feel it? Ha! Ladybird, they rock it. And trust: you could learn some tricks from them that’ll get you out of that fuzzy onesie and onto the Push Girls’ dance floor.
Ladies and gentlemen, stop chewing your nails to the quick and turn on your boob tubes – what you’ve been waiting for for months has finally arrived: the second season of Push Girls is back and holy hell, Batgirl, is it a doozy! This season our heroines are hotter than ever as they roll on the sexy side of life: making out, making up and well, you’ll have to watch to see the rest.