Here’s the dirty little secret of pickup artist training: it actually works (for both men and women), but it may well make you feel like shit about yourself. Maybe you don’t care. Maybe you just want the digits. But just in case you want to get laid and feel like a better person, you might be interested in the results of an academic study on the topic. A PhD student in Mainz, Germany, trained 17 men and 23 women in the pickup and flirtation arts — specifically, how to apply evolutionary psychology principles to the pickup scene, how to make body language work for you (lots of touching), and how to combat anxiety. He then sent his students into the wild, with the men instructed to gather digits and the women instructed to gather drinks invitations. The before-and-after stats showed that men went, on average, from 1.07 phone numbers to 3.67 per hour, while women’s drink-invite average went from 1.65 to 3.1.
Most of the contributions to the recent Twitter hashtag #2012PickUpLines were pretty uninspiring. (Exhibit A: “I’d like to buy a new router for you and your friend. And ‘Route Her’ and yourself into my bedroom tonight.” Er, okay, Beavis.) But we were inspired by Rainn Wilson (@rainnwilson) of THE OFFICE, who tweeted, “Can I piggy-back on your WiFi?” Okay, we didn’t exactly pee our pants laughing, but something about imagining Dwight delivering that line worked for us. So here are our best attempts at 2012 pickup lines: