Now that the self-love fest known as The Academy Awards is over many are rushing to Amazon, Netflix, and the local cinema to see the movies honored. I tried to see as many nominees as possible prior to the show, but I still have a few on my list to check out. But I might not have to go through all that work. These posters, and the rest of the collection seen here, definitely show truth in advertising. They made me laugh a little. Why can’t more movie poster get to the point?
James Cameron with his wife Suzy Amis on the red carpet before the Oscars
Maybe I’m just getting too old and cynical for the Oscars. Heh. When you see Joan Collins out every night, you do start to wonder – what the sam hell is going on? This post will be briefer than the lasts as, well, baby is hungover. Yes, I know. AGAIN. There does seem something so wrong about Oscar week in LA. The abundant narcissism and back slapping is fricking hilarious (“Good Job! That movie you made was awesome! Forget curing cancer – you are the best person alive! Especially because you are so rich and pretty!”).
I’d like to thank whoever had enough time to kill to stitch together this 1 minute clip of “thank yous” from Oscar acceptance speeches over the years. The Weinsteins got as many shout outs as God.
1) Starting the show with the 10 lead acting nominees having to take the stage and smile for the cameras. Doesn’t the rest of the evening torture them enough?
2) The clips for the 10, count ‘em 10, Best Picture nominees. Add them up and they were longer than some of the films themselves! Besides, way back in 1939, the 10 nominees were instant classics like Gone With The Wind, Stagecoach, and The Wizard of Oz. But this year? The Blind Side and District 9! Let’s go back to just five. No, make it three!
3) The way the cameras kept zooming in on the front runners right after they lost. When THE HURT LOCKER won Best Original Screenplay, they closed in on a shaken Quentin Tarantino. After PRECIOUS bagged Best Adapted Screenplay, they cut to a sweaty Jason Reitman. Even when AVATAR lost some sound award, they cut to Zoe Saldana and Sam Worthington. This practice totally appealed to the sadist in me, but for the sake of others with some heart, let’s only watch people squirm before they lose from now on.
PRECIOUS stars Mariah Carey and Gabourey Sidibe, at the Independent Spirit Awards Wow. The last couple of days have been a BLUR… Friday were the Independent Spirit Awards – which rocked. For some reason the gods decided to bless me and my date, Estee Lauder Pres. John Demsey, and sit us front and center with…
Actor Leonardo DiCaprio
When will I learn? Every year I go to LA for the Oscars saying, “I’m not gonna go too crazy…” Right. Because of Mushie (Musharraf) I didn’t get to go to Nicolas Berggruen’s party at the Chateau Marmont – which is a shame. It sounded hilarious. Gerard Butler was there hitting on anything that was an actual woman that moved (what’s new?) while the women only wanted Leonardo DiCaprio. That shit always makes me laugh. It’s like 3 am at a frat party with two targets. And at this point, Gerard Butler is so gross, only the sluttiest of women are into him. It’s been YEARS since 300 and let’s be honest – those years ain’t been good to him (ed. note: Man Boobs!) And Leo? I don’t get it.
Sometimes I just sit back and look at my life and giggle. It’s like my life goes from the ridiculous to the sublime – or is it the sublime to the ridiculous?
So, I decided to bail on “Oscar” related things yesterday because: 1) On the Wednesday before Oscars not much is really going on, and all the real peeps are home still rehabilitating with ice packs, hoping the Restalyne and botox puffiness will go down by Sunday… AND 2) I got invited to dinner with former (and hopefully future) Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf. I shit you not. Fun fact: I am a Middle Eastern history buff. So meeting Musharraf to me is like a 14-year-old girl meeting the un-married Jonas Brothers.
Pervez Musharraf AKA My Mushie
Most Disappointing Sex Scene: The Na’vi love scene in AVATAR. Um, how could their tails NOT mesh? We’re waiting for the unrated version on Blue Ray and it better deliver.
Couple with Least Chemistry: Meryl Streep and Steve Martin in IT’S COMPLICATED
Actresses Marcia Gay Harden and Susan Sarandon at the 2004 Oscars. Woof.
So. My liver finally recovered from Sundance – just in time for the Oscars! Oh Yeah! And without the altitude to help… Well: the upside is: less High Altitude Flatulence (you know who you are!!!!) but the downside is: the alcohol content in California is considerably more potent than Utah (note to self: no more Dark & Stormy’s!).
Here are my fondest fantasies for goings-on that would surely liven up the Academy Awards telecast on March 7 and help save it from growing obsolescence:
(1) I desperately hope a presenter slips and says, “The winner is…” That would be way more refreshing than the standard “The Oscar goes to…” line. Let’s face it: This is a night of winners and losers, and it should be presented exactly as such. Anyone who doesn’t believe that is a total loser.
(2) I pray there’s a tie! There hasn’t been one since Barbra Streisand and Katharine Hepburn split Best Actress in 1969 (though Babs somehow went home with a whole trophy). It would be amazing if Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock tied and resumed that playful smooch from the Critics Choice Awards. Or if that famously divorced couple James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow shared Best Director and went into their own passionate making-up session at the podium. Of course the fact that he’s currently married to Suzy Amis might get in the way of that happening.
There’s been some chatter in the blogosphere of late regarding Kathryn Bigelow’s Oscar nomination for Best Director (THE HURT LOCKER), some of it pointing toward a sort of remorse that for this ‘first,’ the film content wasn’t more reflectively ‘female.’
Whoa whoa whoa whoa. So all the parenting I witness around Manhattan and hippy-dippy Ohio (current locale) wherein moms/dads slyly push the tractors and robots toward the girls and praise toward the boys when they dare to don a pink tutu … is really all a fiction? We truly want girls to ‘behave like girls’ after all? Tears and love and princesses? Or to carry an obligation to represent on behalf of, you know, our rights??
Sundance Channel Spotlight on Meryl Streep, Thursday starting at 8PM
Meryl Streep is one of the busiest working actresses today, starring in 3 films in the last year alone: IT’S COMPLICATED, FANTASTIC MR. FOX and JULIE & JULIA, for which her performance as the much beloved Julia Child has earned her yet another Oscar nomination. In fact, Streep has been nominated for an Academy Award nearly every year since her very first nomination in 1979 for THE DEER HUNTER. And even though her roles in films like THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT’S WOMAN (1981) and POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE (1990) have won her much deserved critical acclaim, she’s only managed to snag two of the golden statues, the first in 1980 for her role opposite Dustin Hoffman in KRAMER VS. KRAMER, which also won in all the big categories that year (Best Actor, Director, Screenplay and Picture), and a second time in 1983 for SOPHIE’S CHOICE.
Streep continues her 17-year nomination streak at next month’s Academy Awards, and in celebration Sundance Channel is showing 3 of her perhaps not lesser-known but recent under-awarded roles all in one night.
As we brace for awards season, I buckled up and went to see UP IN THE AIR, on the lips of many-a-critic as contender for Best Screenplay, Best Director, Best Actor. So why did I find it so … airy? As in, without much substance?
And I’ll readily admit, I like some smooth Clooney romance just as much as the other guy, and Vera Farmiga is a great partner for George in a little heated hub-bub. (Although nothing, but nothing, tops Clooney and Jennifer Lopez, in Soderbergh’s OUT OF SIGHT.) AIR does have some great elements – sharp dialogue, snappy performances, and an organic, surprising twist that plays beautifully – so what’s the problem?
For years, Tom O’Neil’s Gold Derby has been the cyber watercooler to gather around and catch the buzz about who’s a shoo-in to get nominated–unless their film tanks, they come out with a sex tape, or someone better comes along.
I happen to be one of the professional prognosticators who give their educated guesses to the site’s Buzzmeter section, and though I don’t actually know much of anything about the inner workings of Hollywood, neither do a lot of the Oscar voters, so that works out just perfectly!
This year, I’m betting my grandmother’s life on the fact that the supporting trophies will step to the dark side and go to Christoph Waltz for INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS and Mo’Nique for PRECIOUS, even if the latter seems to have actively campaigned to lose the award.
Other categories have been harder to predict because when Gold Derby first asked for our lists in November—ranked in order of likelihood, mind you–some of the films hadn’t even screened yet. But again, that totally works out. Some movies like NINE happen to have an Oscar glow around them (not to mention a huge push) from the second they’re announced, and that usually stays with them even after people see the finished product and deem it a three.