Nicolas Berggruen

Pre-Oscar Parties: A Blur of Vodka, Cigarettes, Lawyers and Space Heaters

Pre-Oscar Parties: A Blur of Vodka, Cigarettes, Lawyers and Space Heaters

Actor Leonardo DiCaprio

When will I learn? Every year I go to LA for the Oscars saying, “I’m not gonna go too crazy…” Right. Because of Mushie (Musharraf) I didn’t get to go to Nicolas Berggruen’s party at the Chateau Marmont – which is a shame. It sounded hilarious. Gerard Butler was there hitting on anything that was an actual woman that moved (what’s new?) while the women only wanted Leonardo DiCaprio. That shit always makes me laugh. It’s like 3 am at a frat party with two targets. And at this point, Gerard Butler is so gross, only the sluttiest of women are into him. It’s been YEARS since 300 and let’s be honest – those years ain’t been good to him (ed. note: Man Boobs!) And Leo? I don’t get it.

Shacking up for the Oscars: Botox, Boytoys and Big Parties

Shacking up for the Oscars: Botox, Boytoys and Big Parties

Actresses Marcia Gay Harden and Susan Sarandon at the 2004 Oscars. Woof.

So. My liver finally recovered from Sundance – just in time for the Oscars! Oh Yeah! And without the altitude to help… Well: the upside is: less High Altitude Flatulence (you know who you are!!!!) but the downside is: the alcohol content in California is considerably more potent than Utah (note to self: no more Dark & Stormy’s!).