This week, sperm quality is down; so is marriage for the mature woman; LGBT kids get put down; stereotyping in school abounds; and painted willies are all around town (at least in Canada):
Much of this week’s news was slightly infuriating: Animals get birth control but humans don’t? The mistress gets punished but the married man doesn’t? Rapists get rights but their victims don’t? Aaarrrggghhh!
This week, a gay Episcopalian who fell in love with a one-night-stand-turned-fiancé can learn how to survive a hurricane barreling through her upcoming wedding nuptials.
Why do we love Justin Bieber? Why did we love Nora Ephron’s films? Why should we love exercise? And why shouldn’t we love old-people lovin’? These questions and more are answered below.
A lot of assault going on this week, both literally and figuratively: servicewomen are getting screwed over by the government, Lara Croft is the victim of sexual assault, penguins are the perpetrators of some serious sex crimes….Maybe gardening can make the world a happier, safer, more loving place.
Not all news has to have gravitas. Not after this week’s zombie apocolypse. Sometimes the weird, the wacky, the big wastes of time are just what you need to start the weekend right:
This week, homophobia is down, gaydar is up, female objectification is over the top, and home HIV tests are around the corner. Oh, and a mankini is on the way:
Having a bad day? Don’t worry, this week the news is light and airy: panda inseminations, professional mermaids, Hooters Heismans and creepy cuddle phones, yippee!
Apparently, your dating success depends on how you use pronouns. Funny, we thought it ha to do with appearance, hygiene, education and sense of humor.
In no duh news: Park Slope says no to a Hooters.
It’s been a busy week for porn:
A recent study in the Netherlands found that for women, watching pornography reduces blood flow to the visual cortex, indicating that their brain has decided that focusing on arousal is more important than fixating on exactly what’s occurring on the screen in front of them (which could be one reason why the book “Fifty Shades of Grey” is such a hit and being dubbed “mommy porn”).
Photo by DAVID ILIFF. License: CC-BY-SA 3.0
So this week we learned that if you were born horny you should not go to Hong Kong, you should not stop carrying condoms for fear of police confiscation, and you should not assume that by “you” we mean either “he” or “she.”
The ladies got a rough deal this week, what with never being taken outside to play as little girls, being left behind by the Right, being told they don’t care about contraception, and getting spit on yet again by Tucker Max and PETA. Fortunately, Charlize Theron got some aggression out (on tape) on behalf of all womankind:
This week, the GOP’s restrictions of freedom, both real and threatened, kept coming. At least they can’t take our orgasms at the gym away!:
This week, it’s all about binary questions: Is Liz Lemon still a feminist icon or now an adult baby? Is porn good for your sex life or bad for your sex life? The production of millions of condoms is a good thing, right? But what if they’re made in China? The case against and the case for Liz…
SNL has an actually funny and actually informative round-up of all the bullshit last week.
This is a great cartoon from Jim Morin in the Miami Herald that pretty much sums up last week’s “religious freedom” debate around birth control coverage.
In “I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Joke” news, an Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas and cucumbers to avoid them having sexual thoughts.
Mint.com’s “page not available” page has a kinda funny personal ad.
Why porn that women actually like (i.e. with normal looking guys like James Dean, above) makes men so uncomfortable.
Does success as an artist bring you more sexual conquests? Yes and no, say researchers.
Smile! Because it’s not that bad (actually, it probably is that bad), but mostly because it makes you look younger.
ONWEE 4 ME: Teen sexting linked with psychological distress.
Gloria Steinem: “I think we need to get much angrier.” Hell ya, bitches!
Wait, that title didn’t come out quite right. “Man cave” is not meant as a euphemism here, especially for Rachel Maddow’s lady parts (for several reasons). No, the “man cave” is just one of her dorky gimmicks whereby she tells her female viewers to take a break and pops a brewskie, puts up some sport paraphernalia and just talks to the dudes. (For a feminist lesbian, she sure likes to play-up gender stereotypes!) Her latest man cave episode involved explaining how egg fertilization happens within the female reproductive tract, because a lot of people, including Mitt Romney, don’t quite have it down. Nor do they understand how many forms of birth control work – birth control many of them use!…
This is just wrong: The Sesame Street YouTube channel was hacked and, yes, porn was put up.
It’s about time: An FBI committee moves to update the definition of rape.
Any show featuring a full gimp suit has promise: a review of “American Horror Story” that took the words right out of our mouth.
Four lessons men can learn from Justin Beiber on being better boyfriends.
The Washington DC International LGBT Film Festival kicks off tonight.
Ben & Jerry’s best flavor ever: Schweddy Balls!
A little baldy on little baldies: Moby wants to make a porno with average-sized willies.
Kind of funny but mostly creepy: Jim Carrey confesses his love to Emma Stone via online video.
Speaking of weird celebrity confessions of love, Sinead O’Connor is apparently into anal and on the prowl. (Is this just some weird performance art project of hers? One hopes.)
Study shows that more gender equality leads to more sex. (And, we’d hazard a guess, better sex, too.)
Cosmo launches an iPad version of the mag for men (there’s no paper version because apparently dudes wouldn’t be seen dead actually reading Cosmo). So now we can all be super insecure about our bodies and our skill in the sack!
Why teens and adults are compelled to send X-rated texts. Is women’s intuition a myth or reality? Do men experience menopause, or rather, manopause? Passionate responses to Erica Jong’s recent co-sleeping-kills-sex comments. Gender-based femicide is still prominent in India. More scientific support for the idea that people are born this gay. MORE FROM EMandLO.com: When…