Oh hey, what’s up? Here is your President, Barack Obama, explaining that his position on same-sex marriage has finally finished evolving.
Article: Marrying up is on the way down
Is there any generation that doesn’t consider itself a watershed? We’re suckers for studies that prove we were born at a true turning point. Research by the Institute for Public Policy Research — a lefty, UK-based think tank — shows that “marrying up” is becoming a thing of the past, and the change really started with women born in the 1970s (hi!). While there has been a slight rise in the number of women who “marry down” (we prefer to think of it as a rise in the number of men seeking “aspirational marriages”), the most significant change is that more and more women are choosing to marry men of a similar social status, rather than trying to “bag a rich man,” as the classy saying goes. Sorry, Don Draper.
We’ve long known that The One Who Got Away makes for great late-night Google fantasies. And that makes sense: you rifle through your memory bank after another bad breakup — or after another inane argument with your spouse — and wonder how life would have been different if you’d stayed with X. Because through your rose-tinted glasses, you forget about how your ex chewed with their mouth open and only remember the grand romantic gestures.
“Sex meter” helps Bonn tax prostitutes. Talk about lovely Rita.
Faster progress through puberty is linked to behavioral problems.
These days it seems like there are more “unique” weddings than there are traditional ones — nobody wants to get married like their parents did anymore. And thanks to the Internets, those of us who are less creative can take inspiration from others and steal the best ideas — or just laugh at them in a gently condescending manner. (Like the insta-viral wedding entrance dance routines that you can’t decide whether to love or hate.) But here’s a set of actually unique wedding photos that we just plain love – because they’re funny and dorky yet also artsy and beautiful (and how awesome is it that the bride gets to carry the shovel and deal the fatal blow?). We can just imagine this couple totally dorking out together over their shared zombie obsession. And what’s more romantic than that? Here are some of our favorites (you can see more here).
Article: When public proposals go wrong
As we’ve said here many times, we’re massive FAILblog fans. We think it’s hilarious when people fall down (so long as they don’t get seriously hurt), especially if it happens at a wedding or when they’re trying to act sorta cool. When shit goes wrong and someone happens to capture it on video, the Internet gets a little happier. But there is a sub-genre of shit-going-wrong videos that makes us clench our buttholes, and not in a good way: When a dude gets down on one knee and proposes in public and his girlfriend says no (just Google “proposal gone wrong” if you’re not familiar with the genre).
Our photographer friend David Jacobs (he took our deceptively flattering bio pic) was hired by Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights organization, to document New York’s first day of legal gay marriage this past Monday at Manhattan’s City Hall. HRC will soon have more on their site, but for now here’s a round-up of the day’s events by their National Field Director, Marty Rouse. And below is our friend Dave’s take on events (he’s not gay, but he’s married and does rock the occasional pink shirt with flare), followed by more of his cool photos of the happy couples.
We’re often asked what’s “normal” when it comes to sex frequency, and we always decline to answer — we hate to use the word “normal” when it comes to sex, period. That’s something that you’ve got to figure out on your own time, and we refuse to judge you (unless you like to do it while listening to Mariah Carey). But if you’d like to know what the average American is doing — at least, according to Trojan, and we admit that it might be in their interest to exaggerate our sexual activity to get us keeping up with the Joneses — then a new survey will enlighten you. It’s the Trojan 2010 U.S. Sex Census.
Article: The way we stray today
Pamela Haag’s new book “Marriage Confidential” has one of the best subtitles we’ve seen in a long time: “The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules.” That’s a lot to live up to, but the book delivers. And it’s getting good buzz. Below is an excerpt from the section “New Twists on Old Infidelities, Or, The Way We Stray Today”:
Article: The divorce ring
Kest Schwartzman of Vagabond Jewelry designed this not-too-subtle kinetic ring “Guillotine, or, The Divorce.” I can’t quite PUT A FINGER on why, but it’s morbidly hilarious to me. [Via]
Article: A commemorative royal wedding "ring"
You’ve probably heard of the royal wedding commemorative refrigerator, the one with the huge honkin’ picture of William and Kate in an embrace emblazoned on the doors. Not exactly discreet. Well, now there’s something a little more subtle, with more humor, if not more class: The Commemorative Royal Wedding Ring (as in love ring, i.e. cock ring):
RefuseToLie.org is an effort to take a stand against the federal government’s refusal to recognize gay marriages across the country. As it is now, the IRS calls for gay couples who are legally married in states that recognize the union to file as “single” — and some people aren’t going to step in line anymore.…
Article: "Sex in America with Lisa Ling"
At least, that’s what Ling’s new show on OWN (Oprah’s new tv network) should be called, instead of “Our America with Lisa Ling.” After all, four of the first five episodes focus on matters of sexuality: There’s “Pray the Gay Away,” which looks at the conflicts between Christianity and homosexuality; “Transgendered Lives,” which profiles several different people who were born in the wrong body; “The State of Sex Offenders” which takes a look at criminals once they’re out of jail; and tonight at 10pm “Online Brides,” which we’re guessing (from the promos) follows men to foreign lands who are in search of love (read: paid-for sex slaves). The first three (which we’ve seen) all take a very personal and intimate look at how these issues are affecting real people — it’s fascinating stuff, all shot very cinematically.
Article: "Til death do us part" ring
What do you get when you cross a brass knuckle with a wedding ring? Answer: Kate Bauman’s “Til Death Do Us Part by.”
For the second year in a row, the Reverend Billy and the Church of Life After Shopping will be celebrating this Valentine’s Day weekend with an un-marriage ceremony for straight married couples who support gay marriage at The Bethesda Fountain in NYC’s Central Park on Sunday from 1 – 2pm. The idea is “no marriage…
Article: I can has gay wedding
We usually hate anything that anthropomorphizes cuddly animals in some inanely cute way, like with tuxedos or having them work at a desk or some shit like that (you know, the kind of stuff your mom forwards to you and her entire address book, NOT bcc’d). But we can’t resist this particular case, since it…
The 21st century’s answer to the skywriting marriage proposal is turning out to be the movie theater trailer proposal, with production values and costs ever increasing. In 2008, there was the simple surprise by the nerdy boyfriend, followed by the more complicated yet similarly unwatchable airplane disaster trailer that same year, and the open love letter with the ear-shattering Kenny-G soundtrack in 2009 (here’s the in-theater reaction).
Article: The best sex and love news of 2010
Yesterday we told you about the sex and love news from 2010 that most pissed us off and/or depressed us — dubious studies, dubious reporting, and rampant STDs, et al. Today we hope to put a smile back on your face with some of the love and sex news that most inspired us. You’re welcome.
A kink study finds that the majority of men are open to fetishes once you get them behind closed doors. Just don’t expect them to dish about it over Monday Night Football.
College gals finally close the marriage gap — new research shows that white women with college degrees are just as likely to marry as those who didn’t graduate from college.
Okay, so yesterday we told you that the web is “luring” more women into porn addiction — but there’s a silver lining. We finally have proof that women are visual creatures too!
You may tie each other up every Monday and feel completely comfortable exploring each other’s less traveled orifices, or you may consider doggie style to be “experimental” — but when it comes to the holidays, we’re all just a bunch of overgrown kids hoping to survive extended time with the in-laws (or potential future in-laws). We interviewed therapist Dr. Terri Orbuch, author of the book Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, who says she has found, in her long-term study of married couples, that when a husband or wife fails to get along with the in-laws, it’s predictive of marital unhappiness down the road. “On the flip side,” she says, “in the happiest marriages from my study, both spouses reported that they felt close to, or at least got along with, their in-laws.” We distilled Orbuch’s advice into 10 rules for making sure your relationship survives the onslaught of questionable family members this holiday season.
Make your partner a priority — and stand up for them. You can affect your parents’ behaviors and how they treat your spouse by treating your spouse with respect, dignity, and validation. If your parents love you, they want what is best for you. And the best thing for you is a happy spouse who wants to spend time with your family.
Set a time limit. Short visits may be the happiest ones.
Manage expectations. Don’t expect praise, warmth, and approval from your partner’s family. Realistic expectations reduce frustration.
As recently as the ’90s, Em was horrified to hear her college roommate say that she was at school to get three letters: MRS. It was said kind of tongue-in-cheek… but not completely. The ironic thing was that back then, having a college degree actually meant that a woman was less likely to get married…and…
Article: New wedding mag for same-sex couples
“Equally Wed” is the new online magazine for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples who are tying the knot (legally or not). Launched this past March with their Spring Issue, they plan to publish one issue each season (their Summer Issue is up now). It’s got the typical bridal magazine stuff that just feeds the…
Article: Sex degrees of separation
We, Em & Lo, worked with and are friends with (and Lo was apt-mates with) Jessica Baumgardner, who married Irad Eyal, which is our connection to the new book “Sex Degrees of Separation.” Irad has just turned his unhealthy obsession with celebrity hook-ups into an exhaustive encyclopedia that combines the idea of “six degrees of separation” and the game “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” with an emphasis on romantic ties and bodily fluids. Any “Us Weekly” subscriber (that would be Em) will be awed and amazed by the scope of this book, which includes extensively diagrammed connections between everyone from Paris Hilton to Diddy to, yes, Kevin Bacon. The graphic designers must be relaxing in a mental institution after this complicated project, which Irad compares to untangling a thousand iPod headphones that have been in your bag for a week.
There’s a new documentary out this summer from the director of TREKKIES called THE NATURE OF EXISTENCE (it opens tomorrow in NY at The Quad Cinemas), in which various philosophers, history scholars, religious leaders and fanatics from all over the world are asked tough questions about the purpose of human beings on Earth. The filmmaker…
Really? The Gores? The couple most likely to make it to old age on a rocker-for-two on the front porch?!
Not the Clintons? We have to admit, it’s a little refreshing to know that even such public marriages can have their secrets and mysteries.
We now feel truly bad about the number of times we made fun of the Gores’ ew-Mom-and-Dad-are-kissing smooch at the 2000 Democratic Convention.
Article: Books: You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up
When we reviewed the book The Husbands and Wives Club: A Year in the Life of a Couples Therapy Group a few weeks back, we wrote: “Here are five couples who reject — albeit under the firm hand of a skilled therapist — the notion that there are only two acceptable narratives when it comes to talking about your own marriage: the long-walks-on-the-beach love story, or what [the author] calls the “resigned farce” — husbands and wives alike joking about their domestically useless/sexually burdensome/nagging spouse.”