So, of course, for my very last essay, I have the absolute stupidest quote of all time: “Everything happens for a reason.” I mean… you have got to be kidding me. This is my last essay question? Fine. Here goes.
It’s weird, but ever since I wrote my last essay, I keep thinking about that Eleanor Roosevelt quote — “Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.”
I probably shouldn’t say this, but my brother’s been offered a plea deal. Which, like most deals, means he has to say he did something, and in exchange, they give him some sentence that’s not totally horrible. Like maybe never even go back to prison.
I think maybe the ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt is screwing with me, because there is just no way I can write an essay about this: “Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.” Nope. Not happening. Justice, injustice, all of it is just… Nuh-uh.
“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” is one of those things that’s been said so many times, by so many people, there’s pretty much no way to know who said it first–probably someone’s mom.
“Surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us,” according to the Russian novelist Boris Pasternak. If that’s true, today must be Christmas, because I am really, really surprised — finally, an essay prompt that actually makes sense. You could knock me over with a feather.
I’m sorry. I understand that these assignments are supposed to help us prepare for the SAT, but man… I’m sorry. I like Shakespeare and everything, but this? This is just ridiculous: “This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are sick in fortune, often the surfeit of our own behaviour, we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars….”
Benjamin Franklin once wrote: “The idle man is the miserable man.” Personally, I wonder if Franklin even knew that many idle people, because he was so busy inventing libraries and glasses and dime stores, when would he have even had time to chill with anyone, idle or otherwise?
I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but whoever at the SAT company is coming up with these essay prompts needs to get a life. Literally — not, like, quit your job because you suck at this, but seriously, go out and interact with people a little bit. Because, fyi, this prompt is beyond pointless: “I have sworn upon the alter of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.”
I heard in homeroom that this week’s essay prompt was going to be some Shakespeare thing, and I thought for sure it was going to be some boring-ass “how now are we all to proceed hither blah blah blah,” but nope, it’s actually pretty short and sweet: “There is no darkness but ignorance.”
So all the juniors at my high school got their SAT scores back last month, and everyone is freaking out because they mostly all failed the essay section. I mean, I’m not sure exactly how they score them, but I heard the highest score in the whole school was a six, and that seems kinda low, right? Anyway, the PTA had this big meeting about "preparing our students for the future," and now all the students at my school have to write a practice SAT essay every week, based on a quote. Except the Comp Sci teacher, Mr. Crane, told the PTA that being comfortable in an online environment was an important job skill and now the practice essay is a "blog post," and I have to write this on my computer in my room when I would much rather be at the hospital with my family, waiting to see if my brother is going to be okay, and honestly, I don't see the point.