Graduation

Your Graduation’s In Jeopardy! Hollywood’s 7 Worst Excuses for Skipping School

Article: Your Graduation’s In Jeopardy! Hollywood’s 7 Worst Excuses for Skipping School

Ditching school. Cutting class. Playing hooky. If you’re gonna do it, make sure you have a darned good reason and a damned good excuse. In honor of the announcement for season 2 of DREAM SCHOOL, here are some favorites.

1. We were forced to do drugs – 21 Jump Street
Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum as Schmidt and Jenko

The key to being a good narc—which these two bozos are not—is actually attending class. But when duty calls, the fellas skip out to meet their drug connection in the yearbook office, sample the goods and hustle to the bathroom to “help” each other try to puke. Maybe cutting class isn’t such a good idea.

Our commencement advice to grads

Article: Our commencement advice to grads

In his recent Class Day speech at Princeton University, Steve Carell closed with his version of the “wear sunscreen” list of helpful hints for grads. (Except, of course, the original “wear sunscreen” advice was not given by Kurt Vonnegut during a commencement address at MIT, as the Internets insisted on telling us for years — it was actually a column in the Chicago Tribune by a writer named Mary Schmich.) Anyway, you can read Carell’s list at the end of the transcript of his speech here. (Our favorites:”Only use a ‘That’s what she said’ joke if you absolutely cannot resist.” And: “When out to eat, tip on the entire check. Do not subtract the tax first.”) In the meantime, here is our version of advice for graduating seniors. We can only dream of the day when this list becomes an online sensation falsely attributed to Kurt Vonnegut.