There always comes a time in an interviewer’s piece when she realizes, “Dangit – that was good. But It just doesn’t fit…” And with the Push Girls there’s always more good stuff. So we decided to give you a bonus chapter if you will – full of fun facts and random answers to questions that may or may not have even been (verbally) asked.
So you got the girl – good going! Seriously, it’s not easy to land a relationship with a Push Girl so lean back, enjoy the rarified air and congratulate yourself… oh, wait. What are you doing? No. Nonono… don’t do that. Don’t you know this by now? Those crazy personal peccadillos, those things your mother told you were so cute, so adorable… Well, frankly my friend, to many of us (not just Push Girls), they are dealbreakers.
So, you charmed your way in, and now you got a date with your dream Push Girl. Good for you, Stan! And don’t worry, we’re going to help you out here too by guiding you into what to do and more importantly what not to do. But this time, instead of telling you, we’ll just show you as, well, who doesn’t love a good dating story?
So you made it past the gate and got yourself a date – good for you! Now, to quote my spirit animal RuPaul: Don’t Fuck It Up!
The Push Girl Rules
No, we’re not talking about that silly book which told women everywhere how to act like a lobotomized, manipulative ninny in order to score a husband. We’re talking about the Push Girls Rules, which will teach you how to score a fun, fabulous dude without putting up with any crap!
Don’t get freaked out by the title of this chapter – it’s not everyday that Christina Aguilera and a pre-wigged out Amanda Bynes can be referenced at the same time! But seriously, with the exception of Auti, who is married to the perfectly be-dimpled Eric, our girls are all looking for that special someone who will knock their wheels off.
And you don’t have to be a Calvin Klein model to catch their eye. Grab your chemistry set, put some Aretha Franklin on and have some R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
A Push Girl is in demand everywhere, be it in the club, at a bar, during a pool party, at work, at a dinner, or in the aisles of the grocery store – but they do like to go out at night with an eye for the hotties. But when a Push Girl rolls in, you need to be ready because, trust me, there’s always a line to get an audience with our girls. They’re in control – and if you can’t give her what she needs, she can always get it herself…
Ladies and gentlemen, stop chewing your nails to the quick and turn on your boob tubes – what you’ve been waiting for for months has finally arrived: the second season of Push Girls is back and holy hell, Batgirl, is it a doozy! This season our heroines are hotter than ever as they roll on the sexy side of life: making out, making up and well, you’ll have to watch to see the rest.
This week on PUSH GIRLS, “Freaky Deaky” showed us some hazards of dating while you’re a wheelchair user, while still letting us see the girls having fun. As Auti, whom I’ve come to think of as the mother hen, reminded us, there’s an element of danger involved in going on a date when you have paralysis, because it involves a deep level of trust very early in your relationship. Tiphany related a scary story about being tipped out of her chair, underscoring the vulnerability wheelchair users experience in intimate relationships.
Lots of relationship drama on PUSH GIRLS this week, from Angela and Dustin having a serious conversation about the direction of their relationship to Mia and Tiphany going on a speed dating adventure. All the girls are at different phases, relationshipwise; I love watching Auti and Erik’s incredibly strong, loving marriage as much as I enjoy seeing Tiphany explore the relationship world because she’s still searching for what, and who, she wants.
Researchers recently published a book-length article in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest on the scientific flaws of online dating. They wrote a layperson’s summary for Scientific American, but even that was three pages long (practically an eternity in internet time). So here’s what you need to know in a nutshell:
Here’s the dirty little secret of pickup artist training: it actually works (for both men and women), but it may well make you feel like shit about yourself. Maybe you don’t care. Maybe you just want the digits. But just in case you want to get laid and feel like a better person, you might be interested in the results of an academic study on the topic. A PhD student in Mainz, Germany, trained 17 men and 23 women in the pickup and flirtation arts — specifically, how to apply evolutionary psychology principles to the pickup scene, how to make body language work for you (lots of touching), and how to combat anxiety. He then sent his students into the wild, with the men instructed to gather digits and the women instructed to gather drinks invitations. The before-and-after stats showed that men went, on average, from 1.07 phone numbers to 3.67 per hour, while women’s drink-invite average went from 1.65 to 3.1.
Most of the contributions to the recent Twitter hashtag #2012PickUpLines were pretty uninspiring. (Exhibit A: “I’d like to buy a new router for you and your friend. And ‘Route Her’ and yourself into my bedroom tonight.” Er, okay, Beavis.) But we were inspired by Rainn Wilson (@rainnwilson) of THE OFFICE, who tweeted, “Can I piggy-back on your WiFi?” Okay, we didn’t exactly pee our pants laughing, but something about imagining Dwight delivering that line worked for us. So here are our best attempts at 2012 pickup lines:
A recent survey by Pew Internet and the American Life Project found that one in three teens had shared a password (email, Facebook, etc.) with a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend. Apparently sharing your password is the new way to express intimacy, to prove to your partner that you have nothing to hide. Um, hello Facebook hacking! (Aside: Did you know that if you work at Facebook HQ and accidentally leave your FB account logged in when you leave your desk, some jokester colleague will update your status to say that you are pooping? Apparently it’s a company tradition.) Anyway. Maybe teens don’t have any credit card digits to lose just yet, but identify theft (or even just unauthorized identity borrowing) can suck in junior high too. We hope we don’t need to explain what a terrible idea this is.
Sexuality educator Charlie Glickman, who runs the education programs at Good Vibrations (in other words, he’s got serious Sensitive Guy chops), recently published an article on his blog called “Confessions of a Former Sensitive New Age Guy.” He consciously chose to become a S.N.A.G. back in college, and his motives were initially quite pure: he was a waif of a guy who couldn’t figure out how to be a manly dude and so he went for the opposite extreme. Also, after a female friend of his made him follow ten feet behind her while she walked down a sidewalk (to witness the catcalling, etc.), he “decided that if men were causing so much pain to so many people, the ethical response would be for me to become the opposite of that.” But a funny thing happened once he became a fully-fledged S.N.A.G.: he started getting laid more. A lot more. And once that happened, he began to lose sight of why he was being such a decent dude in the first place.
It seems like just yesterday the two of us were out on the fire escape of the Nerve.com office, smoking (smoking!) and coming up with the profile questions for the original Nerve Personals (you may remember “______ is sexy; ______ is sexier”). The Nerve Personals had a meteoric rise, signing up affiliate partners like Salon and The Onion left and right. It was so successful, it spun itself off into a purely personals company called Spring Street Networks. But what goes up must come down: the personals network was eventually sold to Friend Finder long after we’d gone and the whole thing just seemed to fizzle out, at least on Nerve’s end.
Sometimes you have to date someone for months before the crazy comes out. And then other times, you receive a 1,600 word email after a disastrous first date that accuses you of leading the person on because you played with your hair, you made a lot of eye contact, and you said “Nice to meet you” at the end of the evening. We’re going to have to rethink our first-date advice now, because we’ve always told people that if you’re not planning on calling someone, then don’t say “I’ll call you” and never call — instead just say, at the end of the date, “It was nice to meet you,” and leave it at that. We figured that was the international standard for, “Have a nice life.” Apparently one investment banker didn’t get the memo.
Of course, this 1,600 word email could be a fake. (Backstory: “Lauren” went to the Philharmonic alone, met “Mike” there, and they went on one date, after which she didn’t return his calls, so he Googled her email address and sent her the below letter.) But we’ve received thousand of emails over the years from people who are sad/mad/heartbroken/crazy about love — and this one reads like real-life crazy to us. Here’s the letter in full — we’ll let you decide:
“Do you need help?” My date asked.
I shook my head. “No, I’m good – I do it all the time,” I answered brightly. I leaned in closer, examining my target carefully as I adjusted the white balance on my camera. Holding my cell phone light in one hand and my camera in the other, I zoomed in on the shrimp-topped squid ink pasta noodles and carefully snapped my first shot. And then a second. And then another from a different angle. Finally, after several more shots, I set my camera down next to my wine glass and looked up with a smile.
In contrast to the above post title, the title of the Time article we just read is “A New Dating Site for People Who Can’t Have Sex.” These are two very different things: you can have sex without having intercourse (hello, oral, manual, frottage, etc.), but if you can’t have sex then that implies you can’t do anything sexual. We thought this new dating site, 2date4love, was for people who can’t or don’t want to have any (or much) sex, be it because of illness, faulty equipment, low libido, asexuality, age, past trauma, religious reasons or whatever. But it turns out the site is targeted at people who can’t have intercourse (says so right on the homepage).
Regular readers of this blog will know that we are mildly obsessed with the dating research blog OKTrends (it’s attached to the dating site OKCupid) — check out our past coverage of OKTrends on the myth of gay evangelism, the (consistent, predictable) way we lie online, misconceptions about online profile photos, and the real stuff white people like. We’re not stats geeks, but we love it when someone else geeks out to show us what we think about when we think about sex, love, and dating. The latest installment to catch our eye is a post about the best questions to ask someone on a first date. Because, admit it, what you really want to know on a first date is: Are we going to have sex tonight? Is this person liberal? How did they vote on the last election? Are we soul-mates? But it’s not necessarily considered polite to come right out and ask those questions point-blank — and even if you were brave enough to ask those questions, there’s no guarantee that (a) your date would answer honestly or (b) they actually know the answer. But the stats — the stats don’t lie!
If you’ve ever used online personals, you’ll love this: Through February 19th, Bit Gallery in New York City is showing R. Luke DuBois’s latest project, “A More Perfect Union,” which looks at American self-identity through the medium of online dating services: “Culling data from over twenty online dating sites, the work is organized according to the same heuristics as the U.S. Census, sorting dating profiles by Congressional District and subjecting the imagery and text to statistical analysis.” There are three elements to the work:
City’s dating identities: “Revealing a ‘dating lexicon’ of each state, DuBois built maps using the words provided by 16.7 million people describing themselves and those they desire. Comprised as a romantic atlas of the United States, each regional geography uses keywords from dating profiles in lieu of the city and town names.”
The movie THE SOCIAL NETWORK scored eight Oscar nominations last week, but that’s not the only way in which social networking, lower case, is scoring. According to a poll conducted by Men’s Fitness and Shape magazines (not exactly the ivory towers, we know, but the sex and dating research coming out of there is often just…
We have long repeated the adage that confidence — whether real or faked — leads to success on the pick-up scene and in the dating world. But a new study by a psychology professor at Queens College in New York suggests the exact opposite: insecure people try harder in the dating world, which can lead to success at least as often as it can lead to your appearing desperate and needy.
Fake Calls is an iPhone app that lets you receive a fake call on your phone — you can either tap the icon on your home screen (discreetly labeled FC) and your phone will ring in ten seconds, or else you can schedule a call in advance. Your phone will look and sound exactly like you’re receiving an incoming call — you can select in advance who the caller is, from your mom to your boss to the president — except that nobody’s really there. You can then “answer” the call — or decline it if you’re using the app just to prove you have manners.
When we read that a researcher at the University of Wales Institute in Cardiff had released a study claiming that the cougar dating trend is a myth and a media construct, we were ready to buy his argument. After all, we’ve witnessed first-hand — and have occasionally, shame on us, been responsible for — how a so-called trend can get blown out of all proportion for the sake of a sexy headline. So we tend to be more than ready to believe that a much-hyped, now-sitcom-ed trend is actually just hype.
Browsing the dating site YouandMeArePure.com left us temporarily speechless, and then clutching for the right words to express our… awe? The top five things that boggled our minds:
For grammar nerds who are bothered by the site’s name, the very first sentence at the top of the entire site helpfully explains, “YouAndMeArePure is NOT a sentence just in case you are checking for grammar. It is rather the name of our website. The name was carefully crafted from the beginning to express that we value both, people entering in relationships and virginity.” Okay then, that totally clears things up for us. Thanks!