Curb Your Enthusiasm

They want your business: vote for America's Best Bathroom

Article: They want your business: vote for America's Best Bathroom

A Swarovski-studded toilet: this shit’s gonna be good.
As any New Yorker knows, a good bathroom is hard to find. In the city, it’s a downright precious commodity. Remember how in the “Seinfeld” reunion in the last season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” George gets rich after creating an NYC bathroom finder app? Having that knowledge at your fingertips really is a million dollar idea. While running errands once near the MoMA, I made a slight detour into the museum where I used my membership only for access to one of their toilets. That’s right, on this visit no art was viewed. I just had to pee.

Usually, hotels are the best bet and everyone knows Starbucks is the go-to city toilet, which is why there’s almost always a long line. And with so much traffic they’re barely a step up from the city ordained public bathrooms. No joke: the porta-potty’s in Prospect Park are officially cleaner, better stocked and better smelling.

People who live in most other cities aren’t confronted with this dilemma on an almost daily basis, but speaking as a New Yorker, I’m kind of really excited about America’s Best Bathroom Award.

Susie Essman Works all the Right Nerves

Article: Susie Essman Works all the Right Nerves

Long before Chelsea Handler was cutting down celebrities and Lisa Lampanelli was cutting down audience members, Susie Essman was at the front lines of female standup, being catty, neurotic, and totally funny.
She’s earned her reward with the plum role of Susie Greene on the HBO kvetchfest Curb Your Enthusiasm, where she gets to use her instinctive comedy skills and her talent at loud-mouthed improv. And she’s now got a best-selling book out called What Would Susie Say? which leaves the delightful impression that there’s nothing she wouldn’t say. (Check out the part about the boyfriend who’d make her applaud every time he went to the bathroom. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry.)

Having seen Susie around at various benefits and promotional events, I know exactly what’s on her percolating New York Jewish mind these days. After doing her trademark line from the show (“You fat f—”), which has become a sort of nouveau version of Carol Burnett’s Tarzan yell, Susie will tell you all about the male New York Jewish standup-turned-TV-star in her life–Larry David. Is he like his character? “Larry thinks those things,” she swears, “but he would never actually do them.” That’s reassuring somehow. Would Larry ever submit to a Friars roast? “Never!” says Susie. “He’s thin skinned!” Well, how about a Seinfeld reunion? “No way,” she screeches, even louder. “What are they, The Brady Bunch?” No, The Brady Bunch was about something.