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Hey, Oscar! Don't forget these performances!

Article: Hey, Oscar! Don't forget these performances!

The illustrious Oscar nominations will be announced on January 24, which gives the choosers ample time to read my urgent plea for them to not leave out some of my favorite people!

After all, I care about the Oscars more than life itself, so ignoring my longings would be as sadistically ill-advised as some of the performances that are already locks.

So now that I have the nominators’ attention, I’ll step up and scream the following: