Chapter Seven: SEXY TIME

Article: Chapter Seven: SEXY TIME

Oh, my little duckies, I promised you we’d get to the good part, didn’t I? Let’s dim the lights, grab a glass of wine, light some candles, put on the Walrus of Love (Barry White, for the uninitiated) and start your engines, because our Push Girls are about to knock your (black) socks off. But before we can get down and dirty, let’s start slow, shall we?

Top 10 funny sex scenes

Article: Top 10 funny sex scenes

Photo Credit: Everyday Should Be Saturday

Funny sex scenes — at least, those that are meant to make you laugh — are often our favorite kind. Ironically, they tend to portray much more realistic onscreen sex than their serious, sultry counterparts. In funny sex scenes, you get weirdness, kink, awkwardness, jealousy, fantasy — oh yeah, and condoms. For some reason, the only time you see latex onscreen is when the sex is supposed to be funny. Here are ten of our favorite funny sex scenes — though not all of them were initially intended to be funny (we’re looking at you, Clive Owen). By the way, if you’re wondering where AMERICAN PIE and PORKY’S are: We took the liberty of limiting this list to scenes that made us laugh. And we’re not — nor have we ever been — 14-year-old boys.

Naked news: Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, et al

Article: Naked news: Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, et al

In “I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Joke” news, an Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas and cucumbers to avoid them having sexual thoughts.’s “page not available” page has a kinda funny personal ad.

Super sketchy but awesome condom campaign of the week

Article: Super sketchy but awesome condom campaign of the week

We’ve all had our share of dubious Facebook friend requests – that regrettable one night stand you’d almost succeeding in forgetting, your former therapist, your ex, your mom. But what about a Facebook request from your unborn child? A bunch of guys in Brazil were recently friend-requested by babies with their own name, plus the “Jr.” suffix. It turns out that these friend requests were actually from a condom company.

How Mr. Condom made Thailand a better place

Article: How Mr. Condom made Thailand a better place

We’ve got our TiVo hooked up to get the latest Ted Talks on our TV, so we were delighted to find Mechai Viravaidya’s presentation “How Mr. Condom Made Thailand a Better Place” in our “Now Playing” list recently. Viravaidya is an eloquent and funny speaker, which alone makes it worth watching the 14-minute talk. But…

Oil Spill Condoms: Doing it for the environment

Article: Oil Spill Condoms: Doing it for the environment

Okay, we know that the oil spill is BP’s problem, but that doesn’t entirely explain why so few people are eager to help out with the relief effort. It may not be the sexiest of world disasters, but a disaster it is. So here’s one way to help out: 20% of all proceeds from Oil Spill Condoms will be donated to help rebuild the Gulf Coast, via the Gulf Coast Oil Spill Fund. Oil Spill Condoms’ goal is to raise $50,000. And yes, in case you were wondering, the condoms are black. And lubricated. (The site is rife with cringe-worthy puns on everything from spilling to drilling. Let’s just leave it at that.) You can actually use the condoms, too, unlike so many novelty condoms: These ones are the FDA-approved Lifestyles Tuxedo brand.

Best condom tagline ever: "You can't wait to get it on"

Article: Best condom tagline ever: "You can't wait to get it on"

Trojan Fire & Ice – Kinda Like a Thrill Ride from Raymond Forbes on Vimeo. We just saw this awesome condom TV commercial from Trojan the other day. We’re not necessarily endorsing the product, just the ad. First of all, the tagline “You can’t wait to get it on”? Genius. How has this not been…

Climax delay condoms gone cute.

Article: Climax delay condoms gone cute.

As a general rule, we’re not really fans of climax delay condoms (the numbing agents most of them use aren’t good for you, and, well, just make sex less enjoyable). But we’re still amused by this ad for Olla Prolong condoms, which offer an illustration of what, exactly, your sperm cells might be getting up…

Adam extra long condom ads

Article: Adam extra long condom ads

At first we were tickled by these quirky ads for India’s Adam Extra Long Condoms by the world’s third largest ad agency Publicis. The illustrations are cool, and they obviously have a sense of humor. But take a look at the details, and things get creepy. Why do all the women look either surprised, or in pain, or, in the case of the pool lady, in the process of saying “Stop!” (note the Heisman hand). In the restaurant one, you’ve got a mouse pretty much date-raping a passed-out cat. In the tree one, an unsuspecting goat is about to get violated by a hopeful dog. And back at the pool, there’s a poor frog checking out his micro-ween. Add to that the extra insecurity this will only heap upon average (and below) guys, and the ads leave you feeling like they’re all part of a bad dream. Silly, yes, and a little bit sinister. (You can check out the larger images at I Believe in Adv — double click them there.)

New York City wants to turn you on

Article: New York City wants to turn you on

Good design used to be completely unheard of in the world of sex accessories — neither function nor form was particularly paid attention to, whether it was a vibrator or a pair of latex undies. Fortunately, in the last decade or so, both form and function have improved immeasurably, and we could not be happier. Now vibrators and dildos are as likely to resemble abstract art for your coffee table as they are to resemble a penis.

Sex at the Winter Olympics

Article: Sex at the Winter Olympics

The Olympics are such a noble event symbolic of international peace and camaraderie, that to bring sex into The Games would be a tactless move, expressing an outright distaste of taste. So….let the tactlessness begin! Apparently, lots of sweating, increased heart rates, and aerobic activity doesn’t just happen at the official events, but also in the Olympic Village — in the past, people have called it “an adult Disney World.”

What kind of birth control should you use?

Article: What kind of birth control should you use?

The good news is there are a lot of birth control options available to women. The bad news is you have to figure out which one is right for you — how to choose?! Planned Parenthood has a pretty cool new widget that can help take a little bit of the guesswork out of it.

How Consumer Reports tests condoms

Article: How Consumer Reports tests condoms

Consumer Reports recently tested a whopping 15,000 condoms (bought by one dude!) representing 20 models. Alas, there was no actual-use testing done in the lab on the slab, just the boring scientific stuff: packaging examination, stretching, measuring, filling them with liquid to check for leaks, and inflating them with air to the size of 5-gallon…

It's Sexual Health Week in Australia

Article: It's Sexual Health Week in Australia

Australia kicked off its first ever Sexual Health Week yesterday (running through the 15th) to promote condoms, STI tests, birth control, etc. (To paraphrase Paul Hogan, now that’s a fight!) As part of the project, a survey was conducted showing that nearly all adult Australians taking part in the study have had unprotected sex, but only…

New product: Trojan Ecstasy condoms

Article: New product: Trojan Ecstasy condoms

Since we were extolling the virtues of condoms the other day (in light of all the withdrawal hub-bub), we wanted to talk about a new brand on the market. While we often automatically dismiss Trojans as your basic, quintessential (i.e. unexciting) condom, they’ve actually been making real efforts to compete with some of the more revolutionary fits, textures and shapes available today. So we asked Condomania’s CEO, Adam Glickman, what was up with their most recent make, Trojan Ecstasy (read on for a special discount link):

When did the Trojan Ecstasy line hit the market?
Just in the past few months.

Is it designed to feel better for him or for her, or both?
They are designed to feel better for both men and women, although the big benefit really does come for the guys.

Durex sells sex well

Article: Durex sells sex well

When every product from cars to instant rice tries to use sex to sell itself, it’s refreshing to see a commercial actually using sex appropriately. A new one from Durex (the first in the list of 5 below) reminded us that they’re the leaders in sex accessory promotion, with funny, clever, provocative, often US-banned spots that are sexier and subtler than any cheap Carl’s Jr ads:

1. We love when sex isn’t just limited to hot 20-something models with eating disorders (via Gawker):

It's a wrap with condom pillows.

Article: It's a wrap with condom pillows.

Look for a gift that says “I’m stylish, fun…and I practice safer sex”? Well, look no further than these giant pillows silkscreened to look like condoms.

"TheyFit" condoms — first come, first served

Article: "TheyFit" condoms — first come, first served

TheyFit Condoms were the first sized-to-fit condoms available a few years back. (Before ordering, you actually needed to use their Fit Kit™ to measure “the Johnson in question.”) It was a revolutionary idea, but then they mysteriously disappeared from the market. Now they’re back at Condomania for a limited time, so we asked their CEO Adam Glickman what was up…

Cruelty-free, lactose-intolerant condoms

Article: Cruelty-free, lactose-intolerant condoms

Being a vegan is hard sometimes: going out to restaurants with friends makes you as high maintenance as Meg Ryan in WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, stand-up comedy is usually not a career option, and finding a condom made without animal by-products like milk protein is damn near impossible. Thank goodness for Glyde Condoms, then —…