We met Wendy Strgar, founder of the company Good Clean Love, at a conference in Vegas (as one does) a few years back and were instant fans. Good Clean Love makes organic love products — for example, lubes that actually smell good, and aren’t packed with nasty artificial sugars (which can lead to yeast infections). She’s all about sustainability, from the environment to your relationship. So we were excited to check out her new book, Love That Works. One of our favorite sections of the book focuses on how mindfulness can improve your sex life. And while some mindfulness advocates drive us crazy with these vague notions of what it means to truly focus, Wendy’s approach is practical and straightforward.
In a world of Facebook “likes” and online dating questionnaires that seem to narrow down the soul-mate search to a simple (and yet oh so witty!) checklist of wants and needs, it’s easy to focus on the superficial ways in which we do or don’t connect with each other. And granted, that stuff can make or break a first date, and can be indicative of a long-term connection. We both love darts! He’s got a flat butt too! Another unabashed Miley Cyrus fan?! Still, superficial connections have a tendency to mask bedsheet-sized red flags. Like, oh, say, the fact that your date is a raging narcissist. So we turned to Gordon Livingston, M.D., author of the book How to Love: Choosing Well at Every Stage of Life, and asked him to weigh on the, well, weightier issues. Specifically, seven personality types that you should avoid in your search for Mr./Ms. Right. Even if said Mr./Ms. performs the best damn air guitar solo you’ve ever seen.
1. The Self-Absorbed Hysteric
These so-called “histrionic” people often describe themselves as “passionate and emotional.” Their primary drive is to be the center of attention. Their self-absorption and superficiality make it hard for them to engage in the give and take of healthy relationships. Danger signals that one is in the presence of a self-absorbed “hysteric” include shallowness and a more or less constant need to be the focus of attention. It is just very hard for them to get beyond their own needs to consider their obligations to others, even their own children.
Forget green energy and an iron man suit for the military — the most important invention of 2010 is software that detects sarcasm. (Just checking to see if the software is up and running yet.) According to Time magazine, the Semi-Supervised Algorithm for Sarcasm Identification — developed at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem — can pick up on sarcastic sentences in product reviews. The researchers tested it out with 66,000 Amazon reviews and it was right 77% of the time. Which means that — cue the singing angels — the smiley-face and winky emoticons may soon become a thing of the past, at least for people who only resort to them as a desperate means of ensuring their sarcasm is conveyed.
Japanese magician Uchida Shinya posted this YouTube (subtitled) video where he uses an iPad with some magic tricks to briefly describe and explain the past, present, and future of human communication. The slight of hand tricks are pretty cool, but if you want to ruin the fun, just read the spoiler comments or watch it…
There’s a reason why Truth or Dare is mostly played by high school kids — because they’re the only ones who are willing to spend hours coming up with creative truths or dares to get their peers more naked, either figuratively or literally. After a hard day at work — or, worse, after a hard day of trolling the help wanted ads in the middle of a recession — who can be bothered to be that creative? Especially when the sex is a sure thing.