Article: Halloween, and other things I hate
I hate Halloween. Before you cascade me with weak metaphors and insults that don’t really break the surface, hear me out. Think about all that Halloween represents:
Kids: Your child is neither cute nor charming, and throwing a bed sheet over the poor kid’s head still doesn’t make it cute or charming, it just makes it look like a Klan member.
And hey, parents, great idea to let your kids dress up and ask strangers for a “trick or treat,” (Halloween must be an unthinkably grand holiday for pedophiles) and run through traffic on a corn syrup high (in “fun-sized” portions, of course) on a quest to accumulate enough candy to clinch type 2 diabetes before the age of ten…