Top 10 Sex Scenes That Will Make You Say WTF?!
All top ten lists are, by their nature, subjective, but this one is especially so—because one person’s “WTF” sex scene is another person’s warped fantasy. That’s said, here are 10 scenes that make us scratch our heads—and cover our eyes.
This Lars Von Trier movie makes his Breaking the Waves seem like a rom-com. First you get marital sex that is deeply disturbing thanks to the way it is inter-cut with scenes of their baby boy falling out of his crib and dying—just as the couple climaxes. Later, the wife nails her husband’s leg in place using a drill and then smashes his balls so hard they actually come off. She then gives him a handjob. And then—seriously, there’s actually more to come—she takes a pair of scissors and cuts off her own clitoris.
2. Jack Frost
A serial killer is genetically mutated in a car wreck on the way to his execution. Of course he becomes a homicidal snowman. At one point he attacks a victim in the bath and proceeds to rape her with his carrot penis—at least, we think that’s what’s happening in the scene. But then again, he’s a snowman, so it’s kind of hard to tell. Maybe he’s stabbing her with his penis-carrot?
3. Fat Girl
Elena and Anais are two sisters on a family vacation—and 15 and 12 and virgins. Then they meet a sexy Italian law student who sneaks into the girls’ bedroom at night and tries to seduce Elena, while Anais, who pretends to be sleeping, watches through her fingers. Elena is unsure about sleeping with him and so he convinces her that anal sex doesn’t really count as losing your virginity. You don’t see the resulting anal sex; instead you hear what’s happening while watching Anais’s reaction—but the effect is at least as disturbing as any of the other more explicit scenes on this list.
4. The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
A surgeon-slash-mad scientist kidnaps three tourists and turns them into a human centipede by stitching their mouths to each others’ anuses. He laughs when the woman at the center of the centipede is forced to swallow excrement from the man at the front. The direct-to-DVD sequel, The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (2011), shows a man watching the first movie on his laptop while masturbating with sandpaper. The man goes on to build his own human centipede out of twelve people. Oh, and he rapes the back end of his human centipede with barbed wire.
5. Brown Bunny
When we watch Paris Hilton give some douche-bag guy a blowjob on screen, it’s because she’s a total airhead and lost track of her sex tape (oops!). When we watch Chloe Sevigny give some douche-bag filmmaker a blowjob on screen, it’s art. In case you hadn’t heard, Chloe Sevigny’s blowjob was 100 percent un-simulated. We’re not so sure about Paris Hilton’s.
6. Howard the Duck
We’ll forgive Lea Thompson anything, even Caroline in the City, because she starred in Some Kind of Wonderful. But can she forgive herself for starring in Howard the Duck as Beverly Switzler? Beverly fondles Howard, his plume gets a hard-on and he apologizes like he came all over her thigh. She climbs on top and Duckie says he can’t do it. “I was just kidding,” she says (riiiight), and the movie goes on like we weren’t about to witness Lea Thompson having alien duck sex.
7. American Pie
Masturbation is as American as apple pie! We’re annoyed at ourselves for including this in the list, but how could we not? That would be like compiling a list of the Top 10 Movie Sex Scenes Involving Dairy Products and leaving out Marlon Brando and the butter.
8. The Doom Generation
How to pick just one fucked up sex scene from this fucked up road movie that makes Freeway look like The Little Mermaid? Could it be when a teen boy eats his own semen? Or how about when another teen boy is castrated by a pair of garden shears, shortly after a MMF threeway? No, we think the winner is when Rose McGowan’s character is raped with a statue of the virgin Mary. Yep, that’ll do it.
9. Pink Flamingos
Does it count as a WTF if it’s a John Waters film? But even for Waters, the scene where a couple has sex with a live chicken between their bodies is out there. And that’s no rubber chicken. It’s an actual, freshly dead chicken from the butcher shop that gets crushed between them while they do it. We’re pretty sure that chicken didn’t consent to be in a three-way chicken snuff film.
James Spader plays a TV commercial producer who enjoys lots of vanilla sex with his wife until he’s involved in a car crash and overnight finds himself aroused by three-car pile-ups and the injuries they cause. Turns out there’s a whole community of people who feel the same way. The entire movie is pretty WTF, but the, er, climactic moment occurs when Spader’s character has sex with Rosanna Arquette’s open leg wound. Yep, he did. Please don’t make us type that again.
Need a break from all that trauma? Wash out your brain with our list of top 10 funny sex scenes.