The Fifty Shades Generator

Are you a print or web designer in search of exciting placeholder text? Are you a fledgling author struggling with a sex scene? You’re in luck! The Fifty Shades Generator creates “world-class literature based on a pre-defined vocabulary” — a pre-defined vocabulary of clever, creative and totally offensive slang for genitalia and coitus culled from places like ARRSE (british ARmy Rumour SErvice) and @50shadesofshit. Below is an example Lorem Ipsum-type paragraph created by the generator, but the hilarious explanation text of the site itself is worth a read. Is there no limit to the sex-obsessed genius of the Internet?

The seemingly never-ending streams of ectoplasm emanating from his love muscle soon had me coated like a plasterer’s radio. After having my tuna canal pounded, he then proceeded to slam my vintage golf bag. Leaving my panties sunny side up on the floor was the least of my worries as his devil’s bagpipe rammed deeper into my brown eye. It was bliss having his slut slayer plunged inside me again; stuffing my tuna canal with a gerbil just didn’t get my gammon alley gushing like it used to. He eased out a giant sewer trout on my breasticles just so he could gobble it up like a hungry hungry hippo.