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This is what feminist porn looks like

Readers are constantly writing to us for advice on the Porn Issue in their relationship. Typically, women write in to say, “Why is my boyfriend so into porn and how can I get him to stop?” And typically, men write in to say, “Why does my girlfriend have such a problem with me watching porn?” Less often, a woman will say, “How can I find porn that doesn’t annoy me or make me laugh so hard I snort my soda or enrage my inner feminist?” And a guy might ask, “How can I find porn that my girlfriend will enjoy watching with me?” To all of these people we say — amongst other things — find better porn. Of course, “better” is fairly subjective, but anything advertising itself as “feminist porn” is a good step in the right direction. And guys, before you roll your eyes and assume that feminist porn just means a lot of hand-holding and meaningful eye contact, think again.

Here’s how you know that feminist porn is hot enough for everyone: people all over the web are up in arms about the definition of “feminist porn.” They ask, how can feminist porn include blow jobs or violence or rape fantasies? Or women who are hog-tied? The simple answer is that feminist porn pays attention to what turns women on (as opposed to old-school porn, which is pretty much exclusively concerned with what turns men on). It turns out that women are aroused by a wide variety of things, just like men. Some women like to be hog-tied and others like to do the hog-tying. And, yes, some women like lots of soft focus, extended eye contact.

If you want to find out more, a good place to start is the winners of the 2012 Feminist Porn Awards, hosted by Canadian site GoodForHer.com. (Gotta love those Canadians!) For an even broader selection, the full list of nominees is here. Here’s hoping for a little peace and understanding in 2012 when it comes to the Porn Issue.

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