Phrase of the week: sex nerd
We pride ourselves on knowing all the sex lingo — and where there isn’t lingo for something we’ve observed in the world of sex and dating, then we make it up ourselves. For example, three terms we coined in our book Rec Sex: An A-Z Guide to Casual Sex are benched (the state of being put on the back burner indefinitely by a casual sex partner); Donna (someone who acts as if a roll in the hay with them were season-finale material, à la Donna from 90210); and pre-nook (the casual-sex equivalent of the pre-nup, it verbally outlines both party’s expectations). But it turns out there’s a trend we neglected to categorize: the sex nerd.
According to the San Francisco-based website Mission Local, the sex nerd is “an archetype that flourishes in the microclimates of San Francisco… The term does not apply to those who cultivate interesting sexual specialties but who manage to maintain a social life and interest outside of that specialty. Taxonomically, the sex nerd is the libidinal equivalent of a drama geek — so wrapped up in the set and costume design of sex that they forget there’s actually a play going on.” Sex nerds may also be referred to as sex Trekkies. Sub-categories of the sex nerd include the bondage nerd; the furry (most often found “waiting for the Google bus”); the sex hipster (favorite pick-up line: “My girlfriend finds you very attractive”); and the New Age orgy nerd.
How did we miss out on categorizing this entire sub-species of the sex world? Perhaps we’re just too darned nice to make fun of all those earnest kinksters on the West coast.
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