Bros before hoes, wives before guys

So this year’s Esquire’s sex issue was a pretty fun round up. Based on a third party polling company, we’ve learned that the majority of heterosexual men polled prefer to have their women on top during sex (cowgirl), and only two percent enjoy sex standing up. Thank god no one told Michael Fassbinder that in SHAME, the hotel scene would have been a lot less interesting. But what seems to be gathering the most attention, both welcomed and uncomfortable, is that nineteen percent of married men polled have had sex with another man. Out of that group, twelve percent have been repeat offenders. That’s about one out of five married men, dudes, bros, in the country. For some of us (the gays), this isn’t much of a surprise, albeit not discussed outside of our circle. Still, why is this taboo?

Frankly it’s almost too common and acceptable to hear of women engaging in sexual acts with other women, and their laissez-faire approach towards bisexuality in general. It’s become a remunerative selling point for entertainers and the greedy labels behind them. Remember when Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj were both bisexual champions? Women can ride the sexual line, and be celebrated for it. So why are we still in the dark ages when it comes to men playing both sides? I’ve noticed that some women may feel threatened at the thought of their men engaging in a sexual act they technically cannot compete with. But what’s the harm, they still want to marry you and have kids, and stuff. It’s not like man on man sex is a gateway drug that will lead to men wanting to sleep with their XBox or PlayStation. If they could, they would have by now. They would still rather wake up next to their wives.

I know a couple of married men that have had a sexual encounter or two with other men before they were married. I have been the other guy, and even attended the wedding. Why not? I knew they were just playing the field, as it were. Being gay I’m allowed to explore my sexuality—necking with a chick if I choose to—it’s only fair to allow a straight man the same courtesy. The more you know that’s out there, the better understanding of what you really want. And more times than not it’s a loving wife. Maybe women should be forcing their men out into the world, a sort of rite of passage like the Amish, or Mormon mission (OK, maybe not so mormon). Ladies, it may even turn you on, we never know what’s going to do it for us unless we try it once. This isn’t bisexual advocacy, though it’s great, merely exploration for peace of mind.

Within the Millennials, as soon as they get to the age of settling down, I’m sure male sexual exploration will be par the course. For now though, it’s still news. Which is kind of a bummer cause I’ve always fancied myself, and my peers, rather progressive. What’s the hold up, y’all?