Now playing on Sundance Channel: Murderous wigs and sexy courtesans

Dead rock stars! Sex on tiger skins! A drug kingpin and his love of animals! Why, it’s just another week of movies on Sundance Channel. Here in New York City we’re cruising into springtime, but things are pretty dark on TV. It’s cool if you want to go out and frolic in the sunshine (and booze it up on Saturday), but make sure to set your DVR to catch these films. And stay away from girls in wigs.

We generally reserve Thursdays at midnight for films that make you say WTF. This week is no exception, so get ready for THE WIG. Your roommate who is a little too into Asian horror already knows about this one, but it is about a South Korean leukemia patient and her murderous hairpiece. To escalate the creepiness factor, she’s got a mute sister…because what could be scarier than not being able to scream when your sister’s wig is murdering people? Anyway, it’s scarier than that episode of The Simpsons where Dr. Nick transplants Snake’s hair onto Homer.

THE WIG Thursday at midnight

Spanish mistresses, man…always way more trouble than you expect. Am I right? Especially when they are played by Asia Argento and outfitted in killer period costumes inspired by Goya.
I know, Saturday is St. Patrick’s Day, but if you find yourself in the unfortunate position of being sober enough to still want some, but sad and drunk enough to not get any, watch THE LAST MISTRESS. There is enough 19th century sexytimes to satisfy certain urges. The rest of you should set your DVRs, because we all get that way sometimes…and European period dramas are classier than porn.
THE LAST MISTRESS Saturday at midnight

You do not want to get between a hippo and their water source, trust me. Hippos kill more people in Africa than lions. They’re just big battering rams and, despite their heft they are fast. I love hippos, even though they are brutal. Do you know who else loved hippos (and was pretty brutal)? Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar. It’s just one of the many things we have in common. Anyway, Pablo had an entire menagerie. We all know how his story ended up, but how did the hippos take it? There is only one way to find out.
PABLO’S HIPPOS Monday at 7:05P

It’s a great week for cult classics. Cotton Mather are reuniting at SXSW for the re-release of Kontiki and COLIN FITZ LIVES! is playing on Sundance Channel. This one sort of defines “cult classic”…a screwball comedy about two hapless guys hired to guard the grave of a dead rock star. Plus, you’ve got indie royalty William H. Macy and Martha Plimpton, John C. McGinley, who just has the weirdest resume in Hollywood, and a young Will McCormack, who wrote one of this year’s festival faves CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER.
COLIN FITZ LIVES! Monday at 8:30P