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Emphasizing the First Syllable in Dictator

In a twisted way, it’s nice to know that America isn’t the only country filled with delusional bigots who find it necessary to pick on a minority group as a means of reaffirming their position in society. The President of Belarus, Alexander Lukashenko, declared it was “better to be a dictator than gay.” In terms of comebacks, this schoolyard defense is known as the “straight flush.” But he’s not the only president, or presidential hopeful, to toss the G word around as a blanket response to political critique. Check out some of the more memorable quotes in the recent past from more familiar names.

Rick Santorum on gay sex: “[I have] a problem with homosexual acts, as I would with what I would consider to be acts outside of traditional heterosexual relationships . . . if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery.”

Newt Gingrich on gay marriage: “I believe that marriage is between a man and woman. It has been for all of recorded history and I think this is a temporary aberration that will dissipate. I think that it is just fundamentally goes against everything we know.”

Rick Perry on job creation and gay marriage: “There is still a land of opportunity, friends — it’s called Texas,” Perry said. “We’re creating more jobs than any other state in the nation. … Would you rather live in a state like this, or in a state where a man can marry a man?”

George W. Bush on gay marriage: “The union of a man and a woman is the most enduring human institution, honored and encouraged in all cultures and by every religious faith. Marriage cannot be severed from its cultural, religious and natural roots without weakening the good influence of society.”

So it’s nice to know that homophobia isn’t lost in translation wherever we find power mongers, and that they’re bent on enforcing some naive two-gender, one sexuality system in the world. But what if we had a gay dictator?  Chances are it’d be the most in-shape, polished, albeit highly dramatic, snarky, and tasteful dynasty since, well, Dynasty.