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What politicians are really saying

Just when Mitt Romney thinks he finally bested Santorum and sent him off packing to a dark hole, but like a bad itch that Romney just can’t seem to get rid of, Santorum keeps coming back as evident by his wins on Tuesday last week in the GOP presidential primaries in Minnesota, Missouri, and Colorado (Romeny won Florida and Nevada). And recently according to two national polls (here’s the boilerplate caveat about the reliability of polls blah blah blah) Santorum has pulled even with Romney. The downside to Santorum’s ongoing popularity is that it reminds me that there are people that actually agree with his odious social policy agenda and beliefs. The upside is that his relevance provides material for the comedic corners of the blogosphere. Among my favorites comes from the funny lip-dubbing people at Bad Lip Reading. They’re so bad that they’re so good. Like the video above of Santorum, these geniuses add their own carefully synched but gibberish speech to various national politicians’ political ads (here is Romney’s). Oddly enough, the gobbledygook words make more sense to me than some of the originals.

And what is Newt Gingrich doing while Santorum and Romney are duking it out? Apparently his strategy involves just awkwardly hanging out at playgrounds by the swing set. Ron Paul on the other hand seemed to have had a problem with voters not being able to look past the fact that he looked like the long lost twin of that lovelorn guy from CAN’T HARDLY WAIT which incidentally is an underrated comedy that also stealthily had a great cast of actors: Lauren Ambrose, Peter Facinelli, Seth Green, Sean Patrick Thomas, and Freddy Rodriguez. Moreover, Charlie Korsmo, one of the main actors in the film and who at the time of filming was also a student at MIT, is now a law professor with a law degree with Yale as well as a membership in the Federalist Society, an influential organization for conservative law students. He was nominated by President Obama last year “for member of the Board of Trustees of the Barry Goldwater Scholarship and Excellence in Education Foundation.” See how I brought this back to the political realm? That, kids, is your random trivia of the day.

I wonder if a young Charlie Korsmo would have collected these trading cards by Upper Deck starring the GOP presidential candidates (as well as Sarah Palin and President Obama) in all their toothy glory. Either way, I don’t think Obama’s too worried about these guys. He’s too distracted at the moment by this 14-year-old’s (and future Super Soaker toy engineer) marshmallow gun.

If you’re just absolutely sick of all this politics, then here’s a hypnotic antidote.

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