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Political deep throats

For a Republican presidential candidate to be taken seriously they must go through the time honored tradition of becoming a meme via the consumption of food in a phallic manner. This means it’s time to finally pay attention to Rick Santorum (see photo above) as difficult as it may be. He now joins a rarefied group that includes Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann who were both unified into this unholy gif-union that you can’t unsee (although Mitt finds it hilarious):

Actually, based on the Perry and Bachmann campaigns’ eventual flameouts, perhaps this is a bad sign for Santorum’s White House aspirations (NASCAR sponsorships notwithstanding). Furthermore, headlines such as this one certainly make it more difficult to take him seriously (insert Santorum’s rant about liberal media bias here). I guess we’ll see if my prediction about Santorum and the curse of phallic foods comes true on Super Tuesday next week, when 11 states hold their primaries on a single day. Until Super Tuesday, I suggest that the remaining candidates Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum avoid further corn dogs or soft serve ice cream cones.

In the meantime here’s a wonderful portrait of Santorum’s toothy face composed from a collage of gay porn.