Puritan mating rituals & a free monologue for a new year

This morning our inbox had an email from Mike Daisey titled “A free monologue for a new year.” Daisey is the writer, director, ex-Amazon employee best known for his extemporaneous monologues. He just performed a sold-out show at Boston University’s Huntington Theatre on New Year’s Eve as part of Boston’s First Night festivities. What caught our eye in the description of the monologue was the “elaborate mating rituals” of New England Puritans (of course), but what kept our attention was the mention of advice for having a New Year’s Eve that doesn’t suck — humanity’s eternal dilemma. Admittedly we haven’t listened to the whole thing yet, but anything that makes fun of Boston in the first two minutes can’t be half bad. Here’s the set up from Daisey:

This is, as the kids call it, freestyling—the monologue was woven in real time in front of the audience, and it touches on death, rebirth, the horrors of the inevitable disappointment of New Year’s Eve, an insane film director in the Ukraine, Samuel Beckett’s face, the pleasures of television, Nazi stormtroopers, theatre as a metaphor for the nature of life, and a survival guide for the coming jaegermeister zombie apocalypse. It concerns the nature of New England Puritans—their origins, feeding habits, and elaborate mating rituals. It is also a document detailing how one might attempt to have a New Year’s Eve that does not suck.

The audio isn’t perfect, and the monologue was written on the wind, but take it in the spirit it is intended—a small gift for the year ahead.