What's So Special About My BGBF?
BGBF–Your Best Gay Boy Friend. Sort of a cute little nickname, right?
I always thought my constant relationships with gay men were completely normal. Growing up in a liberal section of Westchester, New York, I did a lot of theater (I played a prostitute twice in high school, which I’m sure pleased my parents endlessly). I watched my guy friends become my gay friends as they started to slowly come out of closets and admit to their worlds that they were homosexual. It was simply what happened, and I didn’t pay much attention to it. Why? Because I was worried about my own sexuality, specifically my own lack of sexuality while I tried to get any guy to want to kiss my slobbery, brace-filled face.
For college, I went to Emerson–the most gay-friendly college campus in America. Here, I lived in a world where gay ruled. It was celebrated, encouraged, enjoyed, and toasted. I met my two closest BGBF’s to date, two guys who wore a lot of plaid, loved to drink vodka with me, cursed like sailors and just happened to be gay.
That’s how I grew up and I’ve always been pretty damn adamant about it. I would puff up my chest like a tropical bird whenever somebody’s sexuality came into question. Who cares if they are or they aren’t? Leave it alone, you moron! Gay is GAY! So what, who gives a hoot? In this way, I became somewhat ignorant to what having a BGBF really meant. To what being a supportive person to gay rights and gay friendships meant.
Then again, when you live in New York City the year gay marriage is finally legalized you become a little bit more aware. I had forgotten there was anger. I had forgotten there were people who took the Bible so incredibly literally they had to picket, preach hate and promise hell. I had forgotten there were people who hated the people I loved. Then, I got it. It’s not all about listening to Lady Gaga a little more than the next person; being a friend meant lending a shoulder when times were a little bit darker and people were, quite literally, dead set against who your besties are as people.
Marriage equality became the law of the land here in New York this summer. For me, that meant waking up early, dancing to Robyn, chugging spiked lemonade with the people I loved–both gay and straight–and heading down to the parade to watch people celebrate. It was surprisingly emotional for me, somebody who never really cried at anything but The Lion King. Watching everybody come together for something as simple as having equal rights hit me hard–having a BGBF wasn’t normal to some people, but in this pile of crap world, it would always be normal to me. And that’s why your BGBF is so special- he’s exactly who he is, even though that’s not always the easiest or safest thing to be. And that’s the bravest kind of person I know.
An all new season of GIRLS WHO LIKE BOYS WHO LIKE BOYS is just around the corner. Tune into Sundance Channel on for the Season 2 premiere Friday, November 18th at 9 PM et/pt.