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Weekly movie trailer roundup: TWILIGHT vs. HUNGER GAMES

I might be the best, most impartial judge around when it comes to a face off between Twilight and The Hunger Games, and their respective movie adaptations. I’ve never read the books, never seen any of the movies and never harbored a secret crush on any of the actors – for real (sorry Taylor Lautner, I know you’re kind of a big deal with pre-teens and their moms, but I just don’t get it). I do know the basic story lines, though. One’s got vampires and werewolves and shit, and the other one’s got sci-fi teenagers fighting to the death in a gladiator-meets-Tron kinda deal. Those are the obvious things, but do you wanna know the other major difference? One looks like it suuuucks.

I’m not gonna lie, I couldn’t even finish the TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN trailer (will the vampire/werewolf play on words never end?), and that’s just the best two minutes of that garbage dump of a movie. What is the deal with that wedding? It’s like the most dramatic walk down the aisle ever. But what do you expect from teenagers who refer to their life as their “existence,” as in “That was the best night of my existence.” Dra-ma – also a great PSA for teen pregnancy.

HUNGER GAMES, on the hand, looks kind of awesome. It even has actual acting in it. (You remember Josh Hutcherson from THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT and Jennifer Lawrence, who killed it in WINTER’S BONE and then showed up all smoking hot to the Oscars, ‘cuz, um she got nominated and shit – take that Kristen Stewart.) In the movie, this chick risks her life to protect her friend and then gets rewarded with a make-over by Lenny Kravitz. Seriously, he even waxes her legs. Who waxes your hairy werewolf legs, Taylor Lautner? No one, that’s right. For real though, I’m psyched for HUNGER GAMES. The only bummer? I got so pumped up by the trailer I watched it twice before realizing I have to wait until March 2012. ForTWILIGHT fans, on the other hand, the nightmare begins today.