The world's slowest roller coaster in Duisburg, Germany

Not to sound like a pageant contestant or anything, but I really like roller coasters. Big loops, crazy heights, upside down swirls—you name it, I’m into it. This isn’t true, however, of most of the friends and family members I find myself with at amusement parks, many of whom prefer to calmly eat their sugar-dusted funnel cakes and then maybe take a ride on the Ferris wheel, if they’re feeling saucy.

Which is why “Tiger & Turtle: Magic Mountain” by design duo Heike Mutter and Ulrich Genthe would be fun for the whole (fraidy-cat) family. Constructed atop a man-made mountain of zinc in Duisburg, Germany, the coaster-cum-sculpture is composed of 249 individual steps, allowing slow motion thrill seekers to take each curve at their own pace.

Viewed from a distance, this baby looks just as fast and fabulous as any amusement park attraction, but users soon discover it’s pretty treacherous and challenging to traverse the whole pathway. Interestingly, the structure includes loops that go upside down, forcing visitors to retreat in the other direction—a deliberate decision on the parts of Genthe and Mutter, who claim the structure is meant to play with users’ expectations of “promise and disappointment, mobility and standstill.”

But even if the designers are setting us up for disappointment (admittedly, I’d much rather slide down this sucker than walk up it), I know my inner eleven-year-old thinks standing on stop of a roller coaster would be the coolest thing ever. And nobody is stopping me from getting a funnel cake afterward.