A Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys Relationship Primer
Symbiotic relationships have proven successful in the ongoing battle against natural selection. Take, for instance, the Clown Fish and Sea Anemone or the Homosexual Male and his Best Girlfriend. Both bonds persevere thanks to a certain chemistry. For gay men and straight women it may have something to do with their mutual attraction to men (sometimes the same one), but perhaps it’s deeper, as if nature, or some ‘Intelligent Designer,’ thought to create an ideal way for the sexes to coexist.
The Girl+Boy+Boy paradigm might be ideal, but it’s still subject to pitfalls that can turn this mutually beneficial bond into a parasitic, unhealthy imbalance of Kardashian proportions. Here are a couple suggestions in that vein to ensure your GWLBWLB relationship stays healthy:
- Spending a lot of time together can be terrific, but also a breeding ground for jealousy. While it’s a natural emotion, it’s not OK to let it fester. Strong bonds with people fulfill us, but watching your best gay or best gay-loving girlfriend get attached—especially with someone in the same social circle—has been known to incite irrational possessiveness. You may find yourself being cold, curt, or dismissive to this new person. You may even binge through their social garbage in the hopes of discrediting them. FYI, the only person looking like trash is you. What you have with your sexless soul mate should be strong enough to survive these other relationships. Ditto a woman befriending another gay.
- Communication isn’t just an issue for straight girls and their baby daddies. Most couples have a tendency to gloss over or ignore what the other is experiencing, especially in well charted territory—a bum relationship. Don’t write off or dismiss anything (even if she really needs to just get over it). Let your grandparents spend their golden years bickering, tired of listening to a broken record. You’re not eighty and you’re not incontinent; exhibit patience for each other. If you expect your BGF to be there for you, make sure you’re there in turn, carte blanche.
- The GWLBWLB objective is to have fun. Everything is on the table between you two. Whatever you have in common—show tunes, real estate, straight men—enjoy the unique way you make each other feel. Plus, nobody should expect to be fulfilled by one person. That’s where so many monogamous relationships fail. It really takes a village to construct you. Hopefully it’s a really fierce, sometimes bitchy, village reminiscent of the school cafeteria table everyone feared.
There’s a mercurial quality to the BGF dynamic that’s difficult to produce in other relationships. It’s nice to be able to stay home with your best gay friend, sit on the couch with a drink (or 20) and watch TV. It’s a way to bond, receive intimacy, and take your mind off other relationships. When two BGF’s are together, it’s checkout from reality time. That’s the nature of a relationship that has existed since the dawn of man. It’s priceless but, like those other relationships, it just takes some work.
An all new season of GIRLS WHO LIKE BOYS WHO LIKE BOYS is just around the corner. Tune into Sundance Channel on for the Season 2 premiere Friday, November 18th at 9 PM et/pt.