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Tang and adult diapers – 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY

When I was significantly younger, I dreamt of being an astronaut. Like most stupid kids, it was probably because I thought the space suit looked awesome or that the only training for becoming an astronaut was playing with monkeys, eating green pixie sticks and being quick with a measured “out of this world” joke at cocktail parties. Regardless, my dream was baseless and without merit. Until one day, probably right around the time hair was showing up in new places, I learned that astronauts got all the free Tang they wanted. Was it really possible? As much Tang as I wanted? My stupid childhood yearnings now seemed erudite, the dream was alive. Then, I learned that Tang was a drink, and once again, astronauts were just boring adults who wore diapers.

Even with my cynicism and aversion to adult diapers, 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY - Kubrick’s epic drama of adventure, exploration and two adults who answer to a red button – is still fucking awesome. Watching it as a sort of adult makes me want to go to space, as well as distrust my microwave. So, in the spirit of space and being a horrible Jew who eats too much pork, I’m making pulled pork – with Tang.

INGREDIENTS

2 lb. pork (not too lean of a cut)

1 big white onion, sliced thin

1 cup orange juice (the real stuff)

1 cup water

2 tbs Tang

2 tsp chili powder

1 tsp cayenne pepper

Salt and pepper

2 tbs spicy BBQ sauce

Buns (unless you don’t do buns, then by all means, eat it without buns)

Take your onion and pork and throw ‘em in a stockpot over low heat. Add all the liquidy stuff then try not to throw up as you stir in the Tang. (I promise, as horrible as this sounds, it won’t suck – unless you suck at cooking, but if that’s the case it’s not really on me.) Toss in the salt, pepper, chili powder, cayenne pepper and hot sauce. A note on the BBQ sauce: don’t fuck up a perfectly good dish by using a shitty BBQ sauce. Opt for something classy, like Dinosaur BBQ Wango Tango Habanero sauce (horrible name, great sauce). Or, you could get really douchey and make your own sauce, but again, that one’s on you. Let the whole thing stew down for about 6 or 7 hours, until it’s has the texture of pulled pork and makes your loins hurt. Serve it on buns and eat it.

2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY airs this Wednesday, October 12th at 10p and again on Thursday, October 27th at 5:45.