Best of the web: Korea's angry pizza claims & Occupy Sesame Street gets ugly
Pizza Dispute: Pizza is one of few foods that can cause international disputes over who “invented” it. Most recently, an outspoken Korean conspiracy theorist (and, of course, blogger), Sang-J00n Han, is accusing Marco Polo of stealing pizza from Asia. A video interview with Han includes footage of a huge Buddha statue from the Goryeo dynasty wearing “what can only be a pizza box” on his head. I don’t really get what all the fuss is about; in the words of Michaelangelo and Donatello (from TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES), “doesn’t everybody eat pizza?”
Blackboards in Porn: A team of over-achieving porn connoisseurs decided to evaluate the formulas, equations and graphs visible on blackboards in teacher-student adult films. Sure, it sounds kinda silly, but what makes the project so awesome is that the blogger behind it is clearly a dork and goes to the trouble of testing each equation completely before offering his commentary. Among my favorites: “2x + 3 = 9. The handwriting is large and generally clear, even though this class appears to only have one student in it, and he sits at the very front. It might be worth advising the student to have his eyes tested if he is unable to read smaller text at this distance.”
Antique Concentration Device: You wouldn’t want to have had ADHD in 1925, because you probably would’ve gotten strapped into one of these babies. Called “The Isolator,” this helmet, found in an old issue of Science and Invention, was designed to eliminate all outside noise and distractions, allowing the wearer to view only one line of text at a time. Riddilin looks pretty good by comparison.
Extreme Hot Tubbers: Who wants to slip quietly into a jacuzzi when you could bungee dive off a bridge into one? Ten years ago, two (insane) Swiss brothers built their own hot tub and dangled it off the side of a mountain. Today, there’s an official association dedicated to extreme hot-tubbing, the most recent example of which took place beneath the Gueuroz Bridge in Switzerland. To me, this defeats the entire purpose of jacuzziing, because how could anyone relax knowing they could plummet to their death at any second?
Occupy Sesame Street: Are you fed up with the lies and the greed? So are Bert, Ernie, Grover, Elmo, Suffelufagus and Big Bird. Innocent puppets are getting beaten to smithereens down on Sesame Street, and it’s time we all pitched in to help. Best of all, you can sing protest chants with The Count (“Vunn! Too! Tree!”).