A shopper's guide to crappy 9/11 products

The 10th anniversary of September 11th is a time for reflection, family, and apparently, shopping. From commemorative iPhone speakers to decorative dinner napkins, it seems consumerism will truly triumph over all – including good taste and common sense. Here, a list of the best (worst) crap available to gear up for the big day.

1. The September 11th Apron

Thank goodness there’s something fun and festive you can wear to that 9/11 barbecue this weekend.

2. The McBruin Firefighter Teddy Bear

There’s something profoundly disturbing about reducing the heroic efforts of of NYC firefighters and policemen to a snuggly, 10″ plush toy. On the bright side, at least now you have something to bring your politically-active niece at Uncle Bill’s 9/11 barbecue this weekend.

3. Commemorative Basket Set

Beyond the general ickiness of purchasing a woven wicker basket inscribed with the words “We Remember” is the problem of what to put inside it. Maybe some raspberry preserves? That you actually canned on 9/11?

4. The Boho 9/11 Shopping Bag

For the free-spirited, granola-eating Tea Party member in your family.

5. The Cute Cow Necklace

You were going to get that sterling silver Tiffany’s charm bracelet for your girlfriend’s September birthday. But no, you’re right, this is way better.

6. 9/11 Decorative Cloth Napkins

What is it with all these food-related 9/11 products? Is the thought process, “All this talk about fire and smoke and suffering is giving me a hankering for char-grilled sirloin?”

7. The “Heroes for All Time” Cuckoo Clock

Kitschy and politically sensitive! This artfully-crafted cuckoo clock features a custom face shaped like a Maltese Cross.

8. Commemorative iPhone Speakers

This is just plain practical. After all, how to hear those inspiring Christ Rock ballads over the din of drills at the World Trade Center site?

9. September 11 Merlot from Lieb Family Cellars

Excuse me, waiter, but what pairs well with cataclysmic national tragedy?

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