The most important invention of the year

Forget green energy and an iron man suit for the military — the most important invention of 2010 is software that detects sarcasm. (Just checking to see if the software is up and running yet.) According to Time magazine, the Semi-Supervised Algorithm for Sarcasm Identification — developed at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem — can pick up on sarcastic sentences in product reviews. The researchers tested it out with 66,000 Amazon reviews and it was right 77% of the time. Which means that — cue the singing angels — the smiley-face and winky emoticons may soon become a thing of the past, at least for people who only resort to them as a desperate means of ensuring their sarcasm is conveyed.

Imagine the future — imagine the relationships that could be saved if a late-night sarcastic text no longer gets misread. You could install the software on your phone, give it to your irony-deficient father-in-law for Christmas…the possibilities are endless. The only downside is, sarcastic motherfuckers will no longer get to feel superior for “getting it.” But hey, we could live with a world in which sarcasm became seriously devalued. And we’re 100% earnest about that.