The Ballad of Steven Slater (the JetBlue guy)

When I first heard about the JetBlue flight attendant story, I presciently tweeted that this will be the “Must Read NYC Story of the Day.” In case you’ve been living in a cave the past couple days and don’t know what I’m referring to, here’s a short summary. The Jet Blue flight attendant in the center of the storm Steven Slater dealt with an abusive passenger by cursing over the plane intercom (it went something like this: “F— you! F— all of you! I’m f—— through with this! I’VE HAD IT! I’ve been doing this for 28 f—— years and I can’t take it anymore. And for the f—– a—–who told me to f— off: f— you! That’s it! I’m done! F— you all!”), then dramatically deplaning via the emergency exit slide – but not before grabbing a couple beers for the road.

What’s been remarkable about the story is generally how united the public has been in supporting Steven and saying the passenger is the one who should’ve been arrested. Many are paying tribute and calling him a folk hero. A Washington Post poll asked “Were flight attendant Steven Slater’s alleged actions justifiable?” 43 percent selected “Legendary. He stole a beer AND activated the slide” and 29% said it was “Completely justified. Travelers are so impatient these days.”  Slater has tapped into a national frustration.

Over at Metafilter, one MeFite Astro Zombie penned “The Ballad of Steven Slater” which Josh Millard aka Cortex (a MeFi moderator) then put to song. It’s fantastic. I know pilot Captain Sully was the hero for 2009, but I don’t remember anyone writing a song about him. Steven Slater is the new Sully of 2010. Full lyrics after the jump.


Ain’t we all had a day
When we just had enough
Ain’t it true each one of us
Has been battered, worn, and rough
Ain’t you never felt irate
And won’tcha get irater
Well, my friends, we have a hero now
I speak of Steven Slater

It ain’t that easy to ride the skies
Laboring for JetBlue
A man’s got to keep widened eyes
For terrorists or shampoo
And worser still are the passengers
They turn a kind man to a hater
Won’t nobody stand up to this?
One man: Steven Slater

There was a particular day
And a particular customer
Who grew abusive to Steven
when he instructed her
She was endangering herself
And he didn’t care to debate her
And all at once she struck his head
She struck at Steven Slater

Some will say he made a scene
Or it was a crime
But Steven he had had enough
And if he has to, he’ll do time
Perhaps it’s great to keep your cool
But sometimes it is greater
To bid one final fuck you too
As did Steven Slater

He cursed her on the intercom
So that everyone could hear
And he then bid his adieu
And he grabbed himself a beer
And threw open the JetBlue door
With an escape slide and its inflater
And he slid down, drinking, shouting fuck you
Our hero, Steven Slater

The police they went after him
They caught him in his bed
He was supposed to finish work but he was
In flagrante delicto instead
A hero and a lover now, not a
Say what you will, but tip your hat
To a man who had enough
A man named Steven Slater.