Dubious sex studies of the week

Okay, we know we’ve been guilty in the past of drumming up sex research into juicy, slightly misleading headlines. But we’re trying to be better people, we promise! (In our defense, who can possibly resist reporting on a study claiming that wearing socks leads to better sex?) In the meantime, here are some recent “scientific” headlines that gave us pause…

  1. The headline: “Women Freeze Eggs to Wait for ‘Mr Right.’” The reality: This story is based on a study of fifteen women. Can you even call that a “study”? Sounds more like a girls’ night out gossip session to us.

  2. The headline: “Shopping Is Bad for Men’s Fertility.” The reality: Trace amounts of BPA have been found in cash register receipts — and BPA is known to suppress male hormones in the body. Okay, yes, BPA is bad. But it’s bad for all of us — men, women, and especially children and babies.  But “Licking Cash Register Receipts Bad for Babies” isn’t nearly as catching.

  3. The news: Photos where you’re smiling are more likely to attract the opposite sex online. No, really? What’s next: A study proving that women like guys with a sense of humor?

  4. The news: People who live in Miami are more likely than other Americans to have sex on the beach. This earth-shattering breakthrough courtesy of the geniuses at Trojan.

  5. The headline: “Up to 80 Percent of Women Admit to Faking It”. The reality: Yeah, 80 percent of the group of 71 women studied. Also, “it” isn’t an orgasm; rather, what the women admit to is exaggerating their enjoyment vocally — to speed things up, to boost their partner’s ego, to annoy the neighbors, whatever.

  6. The news: “How fast you can judge whether a person of the opposite sex is looking at you depends on how masculine or feminine they look, according to a new study. And there may be an evolutionary advantage to quickly noticing when a hottie is checking you out, the researchers suspect.” People actually get grants to study this shit? What about studying female sexual function, people? Now there’s a topic we’d report on seriously.

  7. The headline: “Enjoy Your Sex Life at 20 and 30 Because By 45 It’ll Be Over.” A study finds that one in three people over 45 said they cut sex short because they didn’t have the energy to finish. And who ran this study? We’re so glad you asked: It’s Kwai Garlic supplement. Subliminal message of the day: Garlique makes you rock out like a 20-year-old in bed!


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