Yep, That's Right… My Ass is an Oil Painting

Glorious, no?

To bare or not to bare, THAT is the question! Ha. So, I did it. I posed naked. My pride made me! My ex, Les Rogers, has a huge show at Haunch of Venison, July 7, and as we are besties (and I don’t have an office job), I always go see him while he’s working… A couple of weeks ago, as he’s preparing for his show, doing huge oil paintings of nudes, I said, “Hey! How come I’m not in there!!!!” to which he replied, “I don’t have anything of you nude… wanna pose for a picture?”

So, after a brief fight with myself, (Me: “Why not?”; Myself: “No one should have nude pics of you!”; Me: “It’s art!”; Myself: “It’s butt-naked!”; Me: “Shut up.”) I did it. TASTEFULLY (if Mom or Dad are reading this) and with Karl, who chaperoned. The end result is: I never knew I had such a fine ass! Seriously awesome! Everyone should get their ass painted by Les. (Side note: The show he’s doing is NOT a posed/portrait thing… it is abstract, conceptual, etc… which is probably why my ass looked so fine). And let’s be honest — I think it’s hilarious that someone may spend tens of thousands to stare at my butt all day for the rest of their art-loving life. Heh. That, and at least it’s not like Freud’s painting of the postwoman — where the press found her and abused her for being obese (the painting sold for millions, so there).

So, of course, I sent an item to my old boss, Richard Johnson… just happening to mention that I have a reading at Borders Park Ave (at E 57) on Thursday (you see? It was all a ruse to promote my new paperback, Mercury in Retrograde… ha). And Richard writes back, “Using your dog and nudity to promote a book? You have learned well, grasshopper!” (My reply: “I learned from the master of the best dojo in town”).

Meanwhile, other lessons of the week:
•    I am, sadly, too old to ride the Cyclone at Coney Island. I think my head still hurts from it.
•    If my spidey-sense tingles and says something is wrong/up I need to listen to it. It’s rarely ever faulty. And has saved me in the past month from 3 very un-pleasant situations. Thanks!
•    I am a book PR whore.