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Joan Rivers Rocks my World

pf_joan_melissa_riversJoan and Melissa Rivers (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)

Post Oscar hangovers are never fun… Trust. I’ve been covering them for 10 years! But this year was different. Not so bad. Even though – let’s be honest, seven days into a nine day LA journey, you are ready to run for the hills, and by hills, I mean Appalachian, eastern hills. Unfortunately, the sad reality set in when I left Rainy LA for monsoon-y New York. I mean… Okay, okay. I got two good days of beautiful spring weather before my boots were soaked and once again I had to forsake fashion for Tretorn rain galoshes.

But besides being mildewed – things are still… interesting! Last Tuesday, I had a Sundance reunion of sorts with my idol and treasure, Joan Rivers. No, really! I did a radio demo pilot for Sirius XM, and she agreed to be my guest. “How could I not after what you wrote about my movie (JOAN RIVERS — A PIECE OF WORK) at Sundance?” she asked. She rocks my world. So she was my guest. We went on for like 45 minutes on men, life and Hollywood. She loves George Clooney – who knew? “I won’t hear a bad word about him,” she said. I think it’s because he actually has a sense of humor as opposed to, say, a Nicole Kidman. Then Joan’s assistant Jocelyn had to pull her away for another meeting. BUT – and this rocks my world – I got invited to Passover “at Melissa’s house – we’re doing it in LA this year.” OH HELL YES! I’m actually going to be in LA for Passover this year – don’t ask. It involves Karl, the wonder dachshund, the show “Extra” and a yenta. That’s all I’ll say–for now.

But things do continue to take a turn for the weird. A good pal of mine, Michael Hirschhorn, called. He’s producing a TV show about Foxxy Brown – you know, the rapper who beats up her manicurist? Apparently, today at 4 I’m going to go see if I can “speak truth” to Foxxy – because 1. She needs it and 2. When I worked at Page Six I did it before (as in, “No, Foxxy, you did hit her. I don’t care what you say you think happened  – this actually happened. Just look at the police report. No, I don’t believe you are being railroaded. The hospital said the same thing. Can I get a comment?”). Now, I like Foxxy – when she’s not pissed off she’s faaabulous. But, not unlike, Naomi Campbell, you got to be on your guard. So I think I’ll bring Karl for protection (don’t laugh – he will go for the Achilles heel and while you’re writhing on the ground in pain, attack at the throat! Or at least, he does in my “Karl is the best most fabulous guard dog ever” dreams) – and a helmet. You can never be too careful with shit like this, you know.

So, I’m off. Into the rain. Again. The last time I lived through so much rain, I lived in England and had to go to India for six months to dry out. Im just sayin’…