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How do you define "had sex"?

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Go ahead: try to answer that question. It’s tougher than you think. Does it mean intercourse? Then how do gay people “have sex”? Does it involve penetration? Then what about those who only climax from external stimulation? Does it involve orgasm? Then what about all the women who’ve had sexual relations with a second party but never climaxed? Does oral sex count? Not since the Clinton days. Well, the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University recently studied this gray area by conducting a random, telephone survey of 204 men and 282 women, mostly hetero, living in Indiana, ranging in age from 18 to 96 — and found no consensus. The L.A. Times summarized the findings like this:

Though 95% said penile-vaginal intercourse was having sex, 11% said it wasn’t sex if there is no ejaculation. Thirty percent said that oral sex was not having sex. Twenty percent said anal sex was not having sex. Among older men (age 65 and older), 23% did not consider penile-vaginal intercourse to be sex.

So what do you think? What does “having sex” mean to you?

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