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We always knew modern design was bad for your love life

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The things that once so defined him — shag carpeting, Room & Board sofas, monogamy — now suffocated him. — via UnhappyHipsters.com

If you’ve ever browsed the pages of, say, Dwell magazine and wondered how the hell anyone could even fart in such an antiseptic environment, let alone have an orgasm, then you’ll love UnhappyHipsters.com as much as we do. (Our fellow Naked Love blogger Bradford hearts it too — and we totally agree with him that these aren’t hipsters. Hipsters are way dirtier!) The site is genius in its simplicity: photos from the pages of Dwell magazine and, okay, mostly just Dwell, with one-liner captions guessing at the inner life of the dwellers in question. Sure, we’ve always been proponents of clearing clutter — especially in your bedroom — in order to focus on the task at hand, whether that task is dinner, email, romance, or an orgasm. But there’s lack of clutter and then there’s austere design and architecture that seems to scream, “I DARE you to have fun in here!” Here’s a sampling from a world in which “wet spot” is a dirty word:

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She had this uncanny way of making him feel so, so small.

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Everyone always leaves.

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Lying on his back, watching the passing clouds, he worried over the Nathaniel Hawthorne lookalike’s role in this grim threesome.

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Ever the realist, he built his table for one.

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It was unclear how her life had become so riddled with obvious metaphors.

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Even in your company, I feel so alone.

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