From the Nothing's-Sacred Department: Shocker gloves

There’s the enjoi knit version (above), which POW claims is an infringement on their style copyright for the finger colors of pink and brown (they have a freaking copyright on that?). But then there’s the Shocker Glove Company too, which a guy from POW told us uses a different “shocker” reference (i.e. not sexual), but when we pointed out their gloves also have the two red fingers and one brown pinkie indicative of that, um, handwork technique, we never heard back. Who knew there was such competition and variety in the crass hand accessories biz? On the one hand (heh, heh), these types of gloves could be seen as putting female sexual pleasure first (this move only works on women for obvious reasons) since men don’t really get any focused stimulation while delivering said move — it’s pretty anti-phallocentric, which is nice for a change. On the other hand, let’s come down to Earth: It’s a sexual gimmick attempted in order to gain bragging rights about what dudes can “get away with” in bed. It’s making sex a crude, immature joke (not that some of the best sex can’t be crude and/or immature). Who is the target market for these gloves besides 15-year-old skate rats and snowboarders who have very little knowledge or understanding of female pleasure? That can’t be a strong business model. Of course, suckers like us help promote them with posts like this. However, it would be our strong recommendation to avoid pursuing anything amorous or romantic with anyone caught wearing these. They might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says “I’ll subject you to dutch ovens when we’re in bed, too.”