Tufts University creates a campus of sexiles

photo by methTICALman

Ah, college. The beer pong, the all-nighters, the walks of shame, the pillow over your head so you can’t hear your roommate’s drunken hook-up…

Well, Tufts University has gone and ruined the last of these fond memories. A new campus policy is meant to deal with an issue that was previously managed via ear plugs and/or drinking so much that you’d sleep through an earthquake: roommate sex. Yes, according to Tufts Daily, the campus newspaper, college officials have now banned ”any sex act in a dorm room while one’s roommate is present” (even masturbation?!); also, “any sexual activity in the room should not interfere with a roommate’s privacy, study habits, or sleep.”

We guess the latter rule is meant to avoid creating a campus of sleep-deprived sexiles who return to their dorm room after a long night of drinking (er, studying) only to be turned away by some prearranged signal — a sock or a scrunchie on the door handle, or a note on the whiteboard reading, “I’m getting laid for the first time this semester, so don’t you dare come in, fucker.” Or perhaps these are antiquated objects in the age of mobile phones? A text message seems practically built for a sexile plea after last call.

Either way, maybe Tufts should consider opening a student center filled with beat-up couches for sexiles to nap on if they’re determined to uphold both of their new rules. Or they could just admit the futility of attempting to regulate the sex lives of a bunch of horny, drunk co-eds. [via]