This vampire thing has gone too far.
You know, we were fine with “True Blood,” and we even tolerated “Twilight”–but we’ve now officially reached our limit with these vampire shenanigans. What was the straw that broke the proverbial (and fanged) camel’s back?
This week, Fleshlight–the company behind those flashlight shaped masturbatory devices–announced a new release, the Succu-Dry. From far away, the Succu-Dry looks like any other Fleshlight device (specifically, it looks like their Sex In A Can line of beer can shaped masturbators); get close, though, and you’ll notice this baby has fangs. Yes, fangs. For all the times you’ve dreamed of receiving oral love from a vampire.
We can’t wait to see what they come up with once Benicio Del Toro makes werewolves all the rage.