Why we'll never complain again about not peeing upright

photo by AwkwardBoners.com

AwkwardBoners is one of those genius sites that appeals equally to 13-year-old boys and, well, us. While awkward boners in public can be kind of creepy (like when the guy across from you on the subway has morning wood — one of many reasons why men should close their legs on public transportation), the image gallery on this site mostly just makes us glad we’re not dudes. Sure, there are your standard creepy pervs who get a thrill out of showing off their “accidental” erection (something tells us this guy knows exactly what he’s doing — he’s sunbathing in spandex, ferchrissakes!). But most of the boners captured for posterity here underline the fact that penises do the darnedest things.

Take sunbathing, for example — a stress-free pastime for most women, who can ogle their fellow beachgoers while pretending to read the latest Danielle Steele, and their companions are none the wiser. But a guy lets down his guard for just a minute, daydreams about bikinis and suntan lotion, and suddenly — surprise! Ever wonder why that guy let you have the beach chair and opted for the towel instead? It’s not because he’s a gentleman. And wrestling — well, we won’t say that it’s gay, but we will say that any sport involving spandex and a lot of man-handling is a risky proposition. Exhibit A. And B. And C. Even just hanging out drinking some beers with your buddies is a perilous activity if you happen to pass out. (And for the record, it’s just not guys who like to capture this sort of thing on camera — ladies do it too.) Sure, moments of teen awkwardness are the stuff that slapstick movies are made of, but we find it kind of endearing to discover that awkward boners are a lifelong problem. Even, perhaps, for your dad.