The Earth Angel hand-powered vibe

It’s kind of ironic: women turn to vibrators so their hands don’t have to do the work, but with the new Earth Angel vibe you have to hand-crank it to get it to work. Of course, it’s for a good cause: renewable, sustainable energy! And we suppose if you crank using both hands equally, you can tone your arm muscles (which seems like an infinitely better exercise regimen than this). Here’s the toy‘s description on (not quite sure what the quotation marks around the word green in the first sentence are supposed to mean…?):

Developed and designed with “green” technology in Ireland, this manually operated vibe cleverly conceals a hand crank in its base. Simply pull the handle and spin it in a circular motion to charge the toy. This advanced, patented technology means the Earth Angel will never require replacement batteries. Cranking the handle for eight minutes completely fills the power source, providing you with ethereal experiences up to an hour. If your digits aren’t down with the round and round, this multi-speed smoothie can also be charged in any USB port or with a 5-Volt charger (not included). Any excess energy is conveniently stored for future angelic adventures. Since both the vibrator and packaging are made from 100% recyclable materials, this heavenly toy is good for the earth!