Reproduction, Us Weekly-style: Celebrity look-a-like sperm donors

Online dating neophytes will sometimes get lured into a blind date with someone whose profile boasts that they bear a striking resemblance to, say, Robert Pattinson. It takes only one — okay, maybe two or three — dating disappointments before the neophyte realizes that (a) some people have a very loose definition of “resemblance”; and (b) someone who truly believes that he resembles Robert Pattinson makes a terrible date. (Unless he does, actually, resemble Robert Pattinson, in which case you might be willing to give him a pass in the personality department for the night.) Seriously, though: Anyone who thinks they’re a celeb look-a-like is probably also still convinced they’re as special as their momma always told them they were.

But when it comes to shopping around for a sperm donor, you don’t really get to learn from your mistakes like you do in online dating. However, celeb look-a-like sperm is apparently the latest trend in that field: At the Cryobank sperm bank in (natch) L.A., you can select a donor based on which celebrity he resembles. Unfortunately Cryobank doesn’t provide photos of the donors, so you just have to go on blind faith that you’re merging your egg with the sperm of the spitting image of Brad Pitt. And, as anybody who is even slightly familiar with online dating with tell you, that by no means guarantees you a baby Shiloh.