FAILblog can help mend a broken heart

We were once fond of telling people who’ve been dumped to buy a box of red wine and watch some good mindless action movies. But we’ve now got a better idea: buy a box of rose (it is summer, after all) and spend a few hours scrolling through the archives of FAIL Blog. (If you have yet to visit this site, we’re jealous, because there’s nothing like the magic of one’s first time.) It’s a photo and video archive of shit gone wrong in the world. We don’t care if your now-ex cheated on you with your best friend since grade school and then told you that those pants actually do make you look fat — you’ll still laugh at the Chocolate Chip Muffin Fail. Here are a few recent sex-related gems:

Kid’s Slide Fail: “Mommy, what does ‘vagina dentata’ mean?”

Aisle Information Fail: Clean up in aisle 5!

Curiosity Fail: Why it’s not nice to stick your tongue out, kids.

Parenting Fail: “Daddy, I’m scared.”

Massage Chair Fail: We’re really hoping this chair doesn’t fulfill the promise of its name.

Name Win: She just beat out Ben Dover and Craven Morehead.