10 Things Your Father Inadvertently Taught You About Sex

It’s Fathers’s Day on Sunday, June 21st this year — don’t forget to call and thank him for all the wonderful advice.

  1. If you refuse to ask for directions, make sure you’ve got a nice, communicative lady (i.e. Garmin) to show you the way.

  2. Use headcovers for your woodies.

  3. Stand up straight, shake hands firmly (not forcefully) and look people in the eye.

  4. Always take time to warm up before athletic events.

  5. Passing gas jokingly around loved ones is only done by old, married people (your parents) who NEVER have sex anymore.

  6. Ladies first.

  7. Learning how to tie Boy Scout knots is an essential life tool.

  8. Don’t shit where you eat.

  9. Technology is your friend.

  10. Finish what you start.