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Prom is hell

FOOTLOOSE came out in 1984. We saw it before we got our periods and even way back then the premise seemed antiquated: Could places where dancing and music were forbidden really still exist, when we live in a such modern world with Walkmans and drum machines? So imagine our surprise at this week’s news story about a kid getting suspended from his Christian high school for attending his girlfriend’s prom at another school where rock music and dancing are — cover your ears! — actually allowed. We jumped to the left, then stepped to the right, put our hands on our hips, brought our knees in tight and did the pelvic thrust because we were suddenly in a freakin’ time warp. (Also because this kind of thing just makes us want to dance out of spite!) But this year’s prom “horror” stories don’t end there: According to this ABC news story, having a prescription for medical marijuana after a life-threatening brain injury or dating a 21-year-old Navy reservist when you’re 18 can also keep you from being let into the penultimate event of your high school career. It makes one long for the days when the worst thing about prom was having to design your own dress out of pink fabric scraps.