Facebooking the one that got away

photo by sixeight

A recent article in the NY Times magazine addressed the Faulknerian aspect of the “undead past” on Facebook, while asking what the 25 million Facebook users under 25 could possibly be doing on there. “What do they have to look back on?” Because one of the primary reasons to log onto Facebook (go on, admit it) is to look up your old high school crush — the one who got away. We don’t care if you’re happily married with three kids…you’re still curious.

But if you’ve been on Facebook since you were 12, how could anyone ever “get away”? We’re a dying breed — the last generation who will experience the sublime joy of logging on to discover that the asshole who abandoned us in the middle of prom now sports bad hair plugs. And we think that Facebook has scientifically proven that being a mean girl in high school causes premature wrinkling and general ennui later in life.

But be warned: It’s not all the schadenfreude it’s cracked up to be. Because that asshole might just have received a hefty bonus from AIG, meaning you can’t even tell that’s not his real hair. And general ennui is not always apparent in a 10-word status update. The kids these days wouldn’t understand, but sometimes an eighties memory is better company than a naughties Tweet.

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